Commandments for Politically Incorrect Living

Vanity Post ^ | 07/26/05 | Alan Burkhart

[neverhome]

Commandments For Politically Incorrect Living

1. Thou shalt have no nation before The United States of America.
2. Thou shalt always say "Under God" when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.
3. Honor thy Bush and thy Cheney.
4. Thou shalt not blaspheme against Microsoft or Haliburton.
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Corvette
6. Thou shalt use every tax loophole in existence, and hoard thy money.
7. Thou shalt not buy an electric car, for it is uncool.
8. Thou shalt not oppose drilling for domestic oil.
9. Thou shalt not try to "understand" weird people.
10. Thou shalt not have a sex-change.
11. Thou shalt not trust any man who weareth a diaper upon his head
12. Thou shalt not suffer a Chihuahua to live.
13. Thou shalt not use recycled toilet paper.
14. Thou shalt not worship the false gods of Global Warming, Zero Body Fat, or Animal Rights.
15. Thou shalt support our troops and their Commander in Chief.
16. Thou shalt be proficient in the use of a handgun.
17. Thou shalt not sue thy doctor over a hangnail.
18. Thou shalt not eat "veggie burgers," for they art unclean.
19. Thou shalt not atone for the alleged sins of thy forefathers.
20. Thou shalt speakest only English while on hallowed American soil.
21. Thou shalt spank thy children when they screweth up.
22. Thou shalt spell-check thine e-mails and instant messages.
23. Thou shalt visit FreeRepublic each day, for it is groovy.

[dalereed]

"I burn more gas than anyone in San Diego county"

I have put $320 of gas in my PU so far this month and it isn't going to get me to the end of the month and i'm sure there are a lot of people in SD County that drive more than I do, are you one of them?

[neverhome]

Haw haw. I don't care for them myself and haven't been in one in over a year but I'm not going to jump on the hate bandwagon.

Nobody goes to the one where I live becuz it's always so crowded. :p

[neverhome]

I have put $320 of gas in my PU so far this month

I love my Eclipse! It looks like a pregnant rollerskate but it gets 30+ mpg. I WANT a new pickup so bad... but when I look at gas prices I always talk myself out of it. You should have seen me hauling a new set of doorsteps in the hatchback of an Eclipse! Could have been on "America's Funniest".

If your browser supports Flash, try this fuel cost calculator. It'll depress you: http://www.alanburkhart.com/gadget_fuelcalc.html

[HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath]

Thou shalt pray everyday for Christ to send His ARMy to restore the Earth to its Edenic state, making it ready for Christ to make his triumphant return, and rule and reign in peace and righteousness forever.

[Pukin Dog]

Well, lets see....

Around the first of the month, I filled the Hummer ($80.00) and went up to Julian for a couple of pies, used that up in two days, then a few days later I went up to Ojay for a friend's party, so I had to fill up again, and then again when I got back, so we are at $240 for the first half. I filled it again last week and still have half a tank, ($80)and I just filled the new Titan today, ($65) so that should do it for the month. So unless you spend another $65, I've got you beat, and I intend to burn another tank heading down to Otay Lake this weekend. Does boat gas count?

[Not A Snowbird]

Around the first of the month, I filled the Hummer ($80.00) and went up to Julian for a couple of pies,

I am soooo jealous! The Angels and Julian's pies are the only two things I still miss about Southern California.

How's it rebounding from the fire?

[Pukin Dog]

You can still see burned patches on the drive up to Julian, but things are almost back to normal.

[dalereed]

"Does boat gas count?"

Only if avgas does!

[John Filson]

Thou shalt not blaspheme against Microsoft or Haliburton.

With exceptions, including starting your own company to compete.

[Smokin' Joe]

25%? Sheesh, DOUBLE!

[Terpfen]

Guinness!?