Well, work with what you've got, then.
Weird is always good.
No, I ain't weird either..
But my life story has prostitution, adoption, abortion, children, abuse, domestic violence, promiscuity, homosexuality, Jews, Amish, Puerto Ricans, hippies, Opera singers, poverty, wealth, murder, AIDS, death, Manhattan, Pennsylvania, Hawaii, farm houses, cults and Christianity, depression, and redemption all thrown in.
I was thinking about calling it "From Opera to Amish: Tales of a Manhattan Life in Pennsylvania Dutch Country."
Would definitely have to use a pseudonymn, however....