What a truly awful situation you have described. Out in the harshest landscape in the world, out of toilet paper, and faced with a choice of NY Slimes or the Koran, you find that the Slimes is printed on softer paper.
EWWW! Guess what that leaves to read?
Nothing?.... Times, Koran, toilet paper...leaves, a stick.... it's all the same... I guess you can read the clouds.