Its not clear because you are stumbling around in darkness, friend. This seems to describe your situation:
In the middle of our life's way
I found myself in a wood so dark
That I couldn't tell where the straight path lay.
-The Inferno, Dante
Try walking in the Light.
"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness; and the darkness has not comprehended it." (St. John 1.4-5)
"Yet a little while the light is among you. Walk while you have the light, that darkness may not overtake you. He who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light." (St. John 12.35-36)
Try walking in the Light.
"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness; and the darkness has not comprehended it." (St. John 1.4-5)
"Yet a little while the light is among you. Walk while you have the light, that darkness may not overtake you. He who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light." (St. John 12.35-36)
Yeah, but then there's:
You just haven't yet sold me on the notion that bulimia and birth control warrant damnation. I'm not even sold on the idea that it's for either of us to make that judgment.
But, thanks for giving it your best. I know you did it just for me. ;-)