[Right Wing Professor]

No, that's just a very big pileated woodpecker.

(Birder joke)

[B4Ranch]

An Alaskan black-backed woodpecker is pecking at a tree and finds that he is unable to get through it. So he calls his cousin, the ivory-billed woodpecker in Arkansas, relates his problem, and asks for help. The Arkansas woodpecker agrees to help and flies up. Going to the tree, he has no problem gnawing a sizeable hole in it.

They have a few beers and discuss what the possibilities are for this mishappening. A bent pecker or a busted pecker is wiped off the chart after the first sixpack. Discussion continues until the alcohol has the black-backed woodpecker calmed down.

A couple of months later the Arkansas woodpecker finds he is having the same problem. Now he calls his Alaskan cousin to fly down to help. The Alaskan woodpecker flies down goes to the tree and gnaws a sizable hole in it.

The moral of the story is: The farther away from home you are the harder your pecker gets. That is why you tend to drink more at home than on the road.

[sawdust]

"No, that's just a very big pileated woodpecker."

That's often been the case. But if this really is the ivory-bill, and not just some "Piltdown man" stunt, then this is the ornithological equivalent of finding Elvis. IIRC, the last stronghold of the ivory-bill was remote forests in Cuba, and it is believed to be extinct there.