Ms. Ruiner and I are planning a wedding (May 21).
It sucks very badly to plan one a wedding. We also have a spreadsheet. The first thing I learned with the help of the spreadsheet, is that when people tell you their wedding was 20k you can add 25% to that price in cost of stamps for the mailings, misc. decorations, parent's gifts, groom/bride attendant gifts, and all the other miscellaneous items.
I would say almost half our wedding cost is associated with random items that cost a few hundred dollars each. Most people don't "mentally" tabulate that stuff.
Not tabulating the misc. will cause anyone to go bankrupt, and not just in a wedding. Mr. M and I married 18 years ago and total cost from gown to appetizers to the victorian b&b was right at $450. I have to say that my best friend got hitched two weeks later and her gown alone was over $2000 and she was ticked because mine was waaay nicer. It's ludicrous to spend what amounts to a new car or a hefty downpayment on a house on a couple hours of one's life. If a bride needs a spreadsheet, the groom may want to think twice what her future drain on the family income may be.
Dude...scale down. After 12 years with the girl, I look back and think, "If that wedding had cost $200 bucks, would I be just as happy now?" And of course, the answer is yes. Don't blow a bunch of money on it, use it for a house, or to make your early years debt free, or stick it in a retirement account.
Think of what that $ can do for your future. More than 1/2 of all marriages break up over money.
What about scholarships for the future kids? House down payment. Heck, even if you buy a vehicle cash in hand that is more money for the future.
This kind of spending for essentially ego is insane.
Red