When my first marriage broke up, all I asked for was my share of equity in the house (since I helped him buy it, and we didn't have kids.) Very modest as we hadn't been in the house that long. Since I had been working in his business, I used this as a nest egg to get restarted. I was young and healthy, I knew I'd find another job and go on.
I was shocked at how many of my female friends thought I was an idiot not to have tried to hose him. "you should get even (how would hosing him make things even?)" "you worked in the business, you deserve half of it (even though he had started it before we were married and it was his whole life)" "you deserve that house" "make him sell the house" -- I lost friends because I didn't want to be vindictive, and got tired of some of these gals harping on me instead of being supportive. The failure of my marriage was sad, they acted like I'd feel so much better if a made myself bitter besides!
And the final touch, my ex hired the lawyer, since we agreed on everything we just wanted a lawyer to file and finalize the documents, no need for two lawyers if you agree on everything, right? I read the paperwork myself, it was exactly as we had agreed. The lawyer kept bugging me about "you should hire a lawyer, I don't represent you, your husband hired me, someone should look out for your interests, are you sure this is what you want?" I finally figured out the lawyer wanted to rack up legal fees by getting me to fight, even though the ex and I agreed on everything. My first marriage broke my heart, I still don't understand why so many people thought fighting over money would have helped me in any way.
Your husband's lawyer had an ethical obligation to advise you as he did. If you were a different type of person, you could claim you got taken advantage of etc etc. He did it to protect his but with the ethics board.
I don't understand that attitude at all. The desire for revenge in our society is strong. I think it's much healthier emotionally and spiritually to put it behind you and get on with your life.
I'm sorry for your heartbreak. I know how devistating that can be.