More Engaged Men Are Setting Up Divorce Nest Eggs

The Hoosier Gazette ^ | March 16, 2005 | August Wayne

[durasell]

Face it, women are smarter -- they hide their divorce nest eggs in plain sight. Diamonds really are a girl's best friend...

[RinaseaofDs]

Perhaps it is about much more than sex, but it is still about sex, and marriage means you have sole-sourced that fairly important aspect of your life.

Most women forget about this, or if they have issues about it fail to communicate their issues in a way that men can actually take any kind of meaningful corrective action.

[Pillows]

The divorce system MAY seem biased against men...and to cure this way of thinking, I believe that men should automatically get the kids when divorcing. Then tell me how much it costs them.

[cajungirl]

We don't either. I inherited and it went into our account. Husband inherited twice and signed checks over to me. He told me to even things out {he has more money than me in retirement accounts} as I had spent alot of years at home with the kids. It was just never an issue. In good marriages it isn't. We are joined at the heart in all ways and money is the least of our issues. The biggest, he wants the remote and it drives me nuts. And he is always making "improvements" to my computer and that makes me crazy. And he gives advice on issues tghat he has no business doing, like fights with my sisters. I am sure he has a list too but money is not an issue. Nor secrets.

[Pillows]

What do most Pre-Nups say? How does that work? I know someone who had a bunch of real estate in his name before marriage. He had her sign a pre-nup.....and now he has sold all THAT specific real estate and bought NEW stuff while married.....
Does that mean that she is entitled to the new stuff now? And the pre-nup is almost void?

[cajungirl]

Oh, you are cynical. Marriage is wonderful. I guess I see pair bonding for life as a good thing. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. And my husband says likewise.

To have a best friend, financial partner, father for children, someone who will go check for burglars and pick up heavy stuff, and love you when you get old. How could anyone say that isn't worth it?

[Churchillspirit]

How sad.

[Pillows]

JUST SAY NO TO MARRIAGE!

Yikes! And you guys are Conservatives?

[Clemenza]

I'm more of a "Classical Liberal" which puts me on the Right in contemporary terms, but I am not a good conservative of the churchgoing variety.

[Tench_Coxe]

Didn't know about the 75% statistic. Wow.

[exnavychick]

Hmmm...since most of the women I know well enough to be privy to such details are pretty much NOTHING like the women you are talking about...I'm thinking that you are dwelling a little too much on the one 50% of women (a figure I am skeptical of, btw) at the expense of the other 50%.

Kind of a strange, and IMO, lazy approach to take towards women. Just figure all women a certain age and under are disease-ridden, overweight fembots and be done with it, I guess. Where is the sense in that? It's awfully sad. Marrying a foreign woman doesn't automatically guarantee a man a submissive little sweetheart, after all. Staying single is a better option, I suppose, but I don't know many men who really want to grow old alone, any more than most women.

I feel bad for you, and I'm not trying to be snarky by saying so, truly.

[Lazamataz]

JUST SAY NO TO MARRIAGE!

Marriage is fine.

If you take it in small quantities.

[PistolPaknMama]

You are very very wrong. If you are going to hold out separate property, it MUST remain separate and never be used in the marriage. Once you use it to pay for something consumed in the marriage, it is community property.

Certainly I am not wrong, within the laws that I understand in my own state, where I have handled divorces for 20 years. Thanks for your perspective, however.

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, I'll stand down then, but I'd be specific about what the state you're talking about when saying such things. Your advice is not true in mine.

[Diplomat]

And if you live in a community property state, anything one spouse inherits after the marriage is automatically shared by the other spouse.

Actually, this not is accurate, at least as far as California (no fault state) is concerned. I think you have to be married/common law married for 10 years for the inherentance to one party to become automatically community property of both parties. I know this because my father's passing is what precipitated my first wife's divorce filing. She guessed wrong on what was really a tiny amount of money. Now she says I was the only person she's ever loved. Yea, right. I think she is currently going through divorce number 3.

[longtermmemmory]

better:

Say no to marrying liberal/leftist or feminist women!

[TruthConquers]

Does anybody know of any prenups that are put in place as a deterrent to divorce? Right now, the system tends to reward the wife if she wants out of the marriage. Is it possible to place within a prenup the terms of settlement related to unfaithfullness? I am a pastor and would find such a tool helpful as a way moving away from no-fault divorce to covenant marriage.

This is a very good question!

I would think if this were possible that it could crack the devastation that the divorce industry is profiting from.

[GBA]

You forgot lawn care, vehicle maintenance and removing stuck lids from jars. And, yes, not only worth it, but utterly the best way to go through life. Or so it seems from here.

The grass is definitely greener on your side of the fence and even though it makes me a little bit jealous of another's good fortune, it's a beautiful thing to hear you talk about it. Before I die I hope and pray that I get to experience it for myself. Clearly your husband married well and may you never take each other for granted! (Not that it's likely you will)

[cajungirl]

We are pretty old and have been tending the "grass" for a long time. Marriage is not easy but I don't know anything better. Sometimes I see it as our being two stones in one of those machines that polishes stone,,you know what I mean. It is like my edges hit his and after a while, the edges are just smoother. I think I see marriage as a long term partnership in all things and alot of habits that grow up. You have alot of choice about the habits and I thinkk that makes the difference. To start out lying to one another, well that is insurmountable.

Stick with it,you will find yours!

[TET1968]

Over the years, I have known some married women who referred to their "get away money", or "escape money". The implication was that money was squirreled away "just in case". I remember some of the revenue streams were quite ingenuus :)