St. Patrick's Day Fast Facts: Beyond the Blarney

National Geographic News ^ | March 15, 2005 | Sean Markey

[missyme]

What was that movie with Brad Pitt and Harrison Ford?
GOOD MOVIE!

The end was this is not an American Story It's an Irish One!

[Dan from Michigan]

Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, "Where are we now?" The guide said, "We're in the great state of California." "It's a big place," said Murphy. The guide said, "It's so big, that your County Cork would fit into the smallest corner of it."

And Murphy said, "Yes, and wouldn't it do wonders for California!!!!"

[Dan from Michigan]

An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''

[Dan from Michigan]

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said Finnegan.

[matymac]

Maybe I'm an idiot...but what are those implications...?

[FeliciaCat]

"The Devils Own"...?

[CollegeRepublican]

I like #43.

[missyme]

Exactly! Great Movie!

[JimVT]

An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.

He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face.

He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up.

This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.

"So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" he asks as he puts on an innocent look.

"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."

[leftover]

What is Irish and stays outside all winter long?

[CollegeRepublican]

Wearing Orange on St. Patrick's day identifies you as a Protestant.

[leftover]

Answer: Paty O'Funiture.

[FeliciaCat]

LOL!!! I like it!

[Lovely-Day-For-A-Guinness]

A meal unto itself, it satisfies all my daily recommended dietary allowances.

Try it with breakfast sometime.

[matymac]

I know that Orange in Irlenad represents the Protestants, but in America isn't St. Patircks Day more of a Secular day meant to celebrate Irish Culture...?

[timydnuc]

The words "pub", "closed", and "St Patrick's Day" should never be used in the same sentence. It's blasphemy to an Irishman. I ought to know, I am one.

[CollegeRepublican]

Yes, in Ireland St. Patrick's Day is more of a religious festival. In America it is an excuse to get loaded, have fun, march around, eat corn beef and cabbage, drink dark or green beer, and act silly.

I am of Welsh decent and I like the music and the dark beer. Yummy. I wear the green so I don't get pinched.

[leftover]

correction: Paty O'Furniture

[Moleman]

Oh it was the bigest mix up that you had ever seen.
My father he was orange and me mother she was green.

[timydnuc]

A little story about Guinness and Ireland:

While visiting Ireland many years ago I went to a real Irish pub in Dublin. I ordered a Guinness and just sat at the crowded bar and "drank" in the atmosphere. Pretty soon a man setting next to me, an Irishman, looked at my glass (it was only about an eighth full), then looked at me and said, "You're a Yank". He said it in the form of a statement of fact not a question. I replied that I was and asked how he knew. He said, "Your glass". I questioned how he could tell I was an American by my glass. He said, "Rings! You have 4 soon to be 5 when you finish". I asked him to explain. He took his pint and downed half of the remaining Stout and slammed it to the bar, wiped his lips and said, "One ring, that's the sign of a true Irishman".

Boy,did I get drunk that night, and made a bunch of new friends. I spent 2 days in Dublin and went on to the birthplace of my grandmother, aunts and uncles, and my maternal grandfather and grandmother. It would take a book to describe those 5 days, and many, many pints of Guinness.