Oh Dear God, this makes me physically ill. I pray this innocent is resting in your arms Dear Father.
The baby looks bruised and so unhappy. I am outraged.
Posted on 03/03/2005 10:53:46 AM PST by softengine
As soon as my own children (12 and 11) are grown, I'll be able to retire into full-time grandparenting. Or is that part-time grandparenting? I'm not sure how that plays out.
Thanks for the comments on step-parenting. I lost my mother at age 5 and my dad married one classy, terrific lady for whom I have the utmost respect....and love.
That situation is far different than a woman with young children dating a man. Women are much more at the mercy of men than the other way around. Why be offended when clearly Dr. Laura's remarks were not directed at your situtation? Your father was not some desperate, silly woman willing to shack up with any loser man that came along putting her kids at the mercy of his abusive whims. Those are the people Dr. Laura is addressing, and she is right on the money as the all too frequent cases of abuse of children by boyfriends attests.
That's a total crock.
So is the fact you are unable to muster a more substantive and intelligent reply.
For the record, I'm a stepfather of two now grown children. They were just little things when I stepped in the picture, but it all worked out ok.
It was offensive in the extreme, to me [that is]. So much so, that I felt compelled to call my stepmother and tell her just how much I admired her and how glad I was that she had come into our lives.
Lonely women shacking up with just any guy who's willing to pay them any attention, is a disaster waiting to happen. And I agree wholly that it is to be avoided - or we will continue to see horror stories such as this one.
How does one intelligently respond to the unintelligent notion that all the women with children who date as "Desperate, needy, selfish women" to use your words
Okay, get back to me when I used the word "all." I was obviously speaking about a specific group of people within the total universe of women, i.e. the desperate, needy, selfish ones LIKE THE MOTHER IN THE STORY that begat this thread. But even women with their head on straight can fall prey to some man who without their knowledge victimizes their kids when they're out of the house, at work, etc. I have heard all too many such stories. I'm glad you happen to be one of the good guys and that you were good to the children your wife was raising, but it doesn't always end up so well. My only concern are those situations.
I understand all of the paraphenalia, but not the "alone" part. This richly deserves an audience.
Oh Dear God, this makes me physically ill. I pray this innocent is resting in your arms Dear Father.
The baby looks bruised and so unhappy. I am outraged.
I came a little late to this party, I'm thinking -- barbed wire, a 55 gallon drum and a couple of planks at the ballfield on free beer night......
While I agree that there are really great single parents out there (I know two fantastic women who got out of their marriage because their husbands initiated the break up, and both are now very happy with new husbands), unfortunately, there are a LOT of really crappy parents out there. I've known a few of them, too.
You wouldn't (or perhaps you would) believe some of the creeps they consider "decent" dating material. I wouldn't hire these drugged out slobs to wash my car, but they are climbing into bed with them, making excuses for them, and more because they don't want to be alone.
As a wife and mother, it sickens me.
My husband is my soulmate and the love of my life; I chose him because he had all the wonderful qualities that make a man a man: respect, honesty, loyalty, an unflappable work ethic, he is all warrior when someone threatens or insults his family, and the gentle giant around our little ones. I thank God daily I was smart enough to say yes when he asked me to be his wife.
But I set my standards very high. We didn't even kiss until the 6th date. We were a couple for three years before we married. I knew him, his background, his friends, his family, his co-workers, long before we walked down the aisle. I wanted not just the right husband, but the right father for my children. If the Lord should call him home before my children are grown, I will not consider dating until they are on their own.
Sorry to say, but some women today are rolling into bed on the first night, and trusting their babies to animals they know for only a few weeks.
THAT is who Dr. Laura is speaking to, and why she is so adament about it. In that regard, I agree with her COMPLETELY.
I am amazed at how many people instantly - instantly! - know what this snooker sock thing is all about!
LOL! :D
Well, that's different than saying that women with children shouldn't date at all. I find the total prohibition on dating to not only be..well..rather stupid, but counter productive as well. I believe that children do better in two parent households, and that step-father is better than no father at all. I guess we'll just to agree to disagree on everything else.
As a stepchild myself, I would agree 100% with that. If it weren't for my stepfather, I really wouldn't have had a father at all...and I was doubly lucky in that he's a really great guy who has been married to my mom for 17 years this year.
My girlfriend and cousin both dated, even though they were single moms, and found wonderful new husbands to help them raise their children. These are responsible, loving, and intelligent women who made fair choices their first time around - took a few years, examined the failings of their first marriages - and then looked at the dating scene with totally different eyes. They chose very wisely this time.
I agree that children do better in two-parent households, presuming that the single parent is smart enough to choose wisely, act responsibly, and put the children's interests on equal standing with their own when it comes to dating/selecting a new spouse.
But can we both agree that women who chose unwisely not only risk themselves but their children? Women who will ignore abuses against their children to hang onto a boyfriend would be better off not dating at all. Further, women who leap from relationship to relationship (or from marriage to marriage), who have a revolving door of lovers coming into and out of the house, also are putting their children at risk. Even if the children are never physically or sexually abused, the children may form attachments only to have those ties severed repeatedly, leaving them confused and wounded.
Heck, this doesn't just apply to single women, this should apply to all women and men - period. It always alarmed me that friends would sometimes hang onto toads, thinking that a kiss at the altar would turn them into Prince/Princess Charming.
God bless you for opening your heart to your wife's children, and making them your own. I'm sure that they are better people for it.
I have no words --- give them to me.
We could, however I think the threat is overrated. Most men, I believe are suitable fathers. I'm certain that more children suffer from the lack of a father, than suffer from a bad one. Stepfathers included.
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