Posted on 02/14/2005 2:38:08 AM PST by SmithPatterson
What will Alec Baldwin find in Canada? John Leo February 14, 2005
Some 10,000 to 20,000 Americans, unable to come to terms with the re-election of President Bush, are believed poised to leave the United States and become Canadians. Many, of course, will remain permanently in the poised position, just like Alec Baldwin, who has apparently been on the tarmac for four years awaiting a plane to some other country.
But suppose the disaffected 10,000 to 20,000 actually depart. Will they find happiness? Will they achieve peace of mind north of the border? No, they won’t. Instead they will find the following:
Strange and maddening football games. For reasons nobody can fathom, Canadian football is played on an enormous field, with 12 players on a side and only three downs, so every third play tends to be a punt. Canadian football alone is said to have driven an estimated 2 million Canadians across the border to become U.S. citizens. Many believe Bush could not have won without the disaffected Canadian football vote.
More Canadian music than you can imagine. Radio stations must play Canadian music at least 35 percent of the time. Strict rules determine what music is Canadian enough to fill the quota. Though Celine Dion is Canadian, her hit “My Heart Will Go On” was insufficiently Canadian, since the lyricist, the songwriter, and the recording were non-Canadian. As a result, thoroughly Canadian pop music stays on the radio long enough to drive many Canadians to distraction, drink, and even Canadian football.
Except for murder, a rate of violent crime as disgraceful as that of the United States. Many U.S. newspapers salute Canada for its low crime rate. But according to the International Crime Victimization Survey, the rate of certain “contact” crimes (robbery, sexual assault, and assault with force) is over 1.5 times higher in Canada than in the United States.
A national political leader every bit as hard to look at as George Bush. People who detest President Bush’s syntax or cocky gait must consider Prime Minister Paul Martin’s disastrous smile. Martin’s speechwriter said the PM’s “fake smile leads one to assume that Martin’s foot is being stepped on by an antelope.”
Perplexing food decisions. Never ask a grocer in Canada for “American” cheese or “Canadian” bacon. Un-Canadian anger may ensue. Also, approach the famous national dessert, the Canadian butter tart, with extreme caution. It is made with brown sugar, eggs, flour, vanilla, and lead. Strong men have been known to eat two at a single sitting, though, because of the lead content, they are usually unable to move for several days afterward.
The customary problems of socialized medicine. A 2000 report from the Heritage Foundation found long waiting lists, government rationing, and substandard care in Canada’s system. Drug spending is controlled, according to the report, by limiting the number of approved drugs and slowing down the approval process. In one four-year period, Canada approved only 24 of 400 new drugs. Keep coming down here for healthcare, Canadians.
A national infatuation with censorship. Canadians tend to be a benign people who value niceness. So they have a strong tendency to suppress speech that they see as lacking in niceness. Un-nice books and videos are seized at the border or banned from libraries. Any material cited for “undue exploitation of sex” or for being “degrading or dehumanizing” can be banned.
Speech is illegal if it “promotes hatred” or spreads “false news.” Advertising “directed at children” can be ruled illegal. If the recorded message on your answering machine is deemed discriminatory, you can be prosecuted for it. In Saskatchewan, a newspaper ad listing four biblical citations against homosexuality (just the listing, no text), accompanied by two hand-holding male stick figures with a line drawn across them, was ruled a human-rights offense, and the man who placed the ad was directed to pay $1,800 each to three gay men who were offended by the ad. “Canadians put up with an insane amount of crap that Americans might not,” said David Sutherland, former director of the British Columbia Civil Liberties Association.
Canada’s trying to be European. Canada has been aping trends in Europe, from the obsession with multiculturalism, the rising contempt for religion, greater censorship, and even a declining birthrate. Canada’s birthrate is 1.49 children per woman, well below the replacement level of 2.1. Canada’s elites behave much like those of the United States, favoring judicially imposed decisions over democratic and legislative ones. In Canada, a smaller and less varied nation than the United States, the elites meet less resistance. But there are signs of a pushback. Though the Canadian and American press consistently give the impression that gay marriage is overwhelmingly favored in Canada, a February 2 National Post/Global National poll found that two thirds of Canadians oppose gay marriage and would likely vote against it in a national plebiscite. The polls suggest that Canadians are close to Americans on this issue. It’s elite opinion and judges that make Canada look different.
Just as in our American Revolution....many Americans loyal to Britian moved to Canada rather than stay and fight...no problem...you could'nt have been Americans anyway...hurry up and leave...quit bitching and get across the border.....
The customary problems of socialized medicine. A 2000 report from the Heritage Foundation found long waiting lists, government rationing, and substandard care in Canada’s system. Drug spending is controlled, according to the report, by limiting the number of approved drugs and slowing down the approval process. In one four-year period, Canada approved only 24 of 400 new drugs. Keep coming down here for healthcare, Canadians.
In fact, even New Zealand doesn't go to the extreme of socialized medicine of Canada. I have an uncle who migrated to Toronto and when I visited him last time, he and his wife were astonished to know that we have a dual path system for elective medicine. If you have private insurance or enough money , you can do elective surgeries and visit specialists at private practices (that covers everything outside emergency medicine except organ transplant). And new drug approval is the same as the US, except that certain drugs aren't covered by subsidies and in such cases, you pay the full costs.
But emergency medicine is government-operated yes, and GP visits are subsidized although flat fees apply for subsidized prescription drugs and GP visits.
That's unfair. The spirit of the Red Ensign is not dead - there are many Canadians who don't like the direction they're being led in. It is also likely the Liberal government will be tossed out on its ear at the next election, which should lead to substantial improvements.
Regards, Ivan
You need to speak up then....your crappy government is leading you down the socialist path to ruin!
I'm not Canadian, I'm British.
Regards, Ivan
Hopefully, a new home.
Carolyn
Sounds like a good deal to me. It would appear that Blue Voters certainly know all about standing on their principles, eh? I'm not sure, but I heard rumor that there may be some other countries in the world besides Canada in the world. I heard that one of the larger ones was called Cinco de Mayo or something. One of the biggest ones was called Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Land of France. I don't know about all that, since all we ever studied in school was how badly the U.S. was trashing the planet, and George Bush is the anti-Christ (not that religion is taught in school or anything), but heresy has it on pretty good authority this is pretty solid stuff to go on.
A whole lot more personal freedom, civil liberties, government benefits and much much lower income tax can be found in those few countries outside of the U.S.A. In fact, as I understand it, almost no income whatsoever is levied anywhere else in the world except the United States of America. What a bunch of fascists. Too bad I didn't have the balls to vote for sKerry.
You mean they haven't left yet? What are they waiting for? It's been over three months. C'mon whiney-babies, pack your bags and get on out.
British...not Canadian...then you understand why we want the traitors to leave asap....
Denny Crane: "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."
Denny Crane: "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."
The Canadian Liberals are also incredibly corrupt. That is going to be their downfall, I think.
Regards, Ivan
I heard another one from Reader's Digest: Canada should ideally get British culture, French food, and American technology, but in reality ended up with American culture, British food, and French technology.
Either way, since Hollywood is fawning over French appreciation, and the British are mimicking French in food (which isn't necessarily a bad thing after all) everything in Canada is becoming French as you said.
You are right! That's what it was! That's why it was so funny! Thanks for reminding me. I have to admit I did get a good chortle out of that one.
Denny Crane: "There are two places to find the truth. First God and then Fox News."
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