[Luddite Patent Counsel]

I know hammers. I've used hammers. Hammers are friends of mine. Senator Reid is MUCH more ignorant than a bag of hammers.
I believe a retraction and an apology are in order.

[UltraKonservativen]

Hammers... GOOD, Reid... BAD.

DEMOCRATS CAN'T BE FIXED.

[Congressman Billybob]

I not only apologize, counselor, about my unfortunate slur on hammers. I will print out the statement, burn it, and eat the ashes. I will then deny under oath that I ever said it.

Say the word, and I will further grovel by shooting my own dog and poisoning my well. I trust those steps will cause you to allow me to continue drawing breath.

Humbly submitted,

Billybob