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After all, we are the party of inclusion. We are the party of compassion, not George W. Bush, a man that titles himself a “compassionate conservative.” We are the party that classifies all people into groups. We’re the people that understand minorities need a helping hand, knowing they couldn’t possibly make it in America on their own. We’re the kind of Americans that believe women have been exploited, and that women like Laura Schlessinger are disgusting for telling them to stay home and raise children. How dare she insult the women of America? How dare she claim they bond with their children, and become a wonderful mother, wife, and lover?

We believe that a woman’s right to choose is what matters most. We believe a fetus is just tissue. We are the party that claims to be for the working man while raising their taxes. We are the people that advocates for the poor, offering them money instead of solutions, and cleansing our guilty consciences when we go home to our mansions on Nantucket, Beacon Hill, and Hollywood. We are the men and women that offer you an unemployment check rather than offering a job. We believe in keeping America divided, but lecture conservatives on unity. Our finest men and women are CEO’s, editors, and reporters at the New York Times, Simon & Schuster, Random House, and Disney. Our press operates under the First Amendment, promotes the fondest of our ideals, and claims to be objective. Our best and brightest are Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, and Peter Jennings. Conservatives need not apply. We hate the New Media and Free Republic most of all.

We must label men like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh as ignorant bigots, because they represent the majority belief in America. We know they threaten our socialistic way of life, our blue states, and our united goal in one, powerful controlling and meddling federal government. We must cast aspersions at women like Ann Coulter, labeling them as angry white women, knowing we have become the party of hate, lies and deception. We are represented by Teresa Heinz Kerry, Barbara Streisand, Whoopi Goldberg, and Howard Dean.

Even though Sean Hannity grew up in Franklin Square, Long Island—working in construction and as a contractor—we must paint him as an elitist, rich snob. Even though Sean wrote two books, we must portray him as a lying, illiterate boob. And even though the Sean Hannity Show is broadcast on nearly 400 stations we must make Americans think he’s a loud mouthed, uneducated, intolerant conservative. We will say whatever it takes to keep men and women, blacks and whites, Protestants and Catholics, homosexuals and heterosexuals, and Republicans and Democrats, divided at all costs—our power, our party, and our existence is contingent upon it.

We claim to love America, but hate it when the economy soars and our U.S. Armed Forces prevail in battle. We support our troops, but find fault in them at every turn, and vote against funding them in war time. We have lost our power in the U.S. House of Representatives, The U.S. Senate, and the U.S. Presidency. We are a National Party No More, as that bigoted Senator Zel Miller indicated in his book. We are now threatened by losing our stranglehold on the U.S. Supreme Court. We have had an iron grip on education for forty years, the grip that is slowly slipping on colleges and universities everywhere, as these nefarious conservative organizations continue to grow.

We are struggling for an identity we lost on November 2, 2004, and will do anything to get it back. We championed our greatest President, Bill Clinton, and a fine example of our value system, while opening his new museum. We know we’ll have to try and oust God-loving conservatives in 2006, repeating God as many times as it takes to get elected. We believe we’re righteous, indignant, and have a mission to change the world through peace, tolerance, and political correctness.

We hate President George W. Bush with an unmatched visceral anger. We will do our best to impeach him, no matter what the cost. The very thought of compassionate conservatives makes us nauseous. Never forget that we love you, want to protect you, and keep your children from harm by micromanaging every aspect of your life. We will say whatever it takes to discredit Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. We have no other options left, and in the greatest of our ideals, we are imploding.

That’s why Sean Hannity is an ignorant bigot.

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If this isn't a clear picture of the hypocrisy of the Rats, I don't know what is.