Skip to comments.Is he dead? "I wouldn't say that" (Arafat)
Posted on 11/09/2004 11:55:50 AM PST by tallhappy
click here to read article
Article the quote is from is:
P.L.O. Aides Cancel Visit to Arafat Doctors
By STEVEN ERLANGER
NY Slimes, yesterday. Here's the whole paragraph.
On Sunday night, the French foreign minister, Michel Barnier, told LCI television that Mr. Arafat was alive but his circumstances were complicated. ''I would say he is in a state that is very complicated, very serious and stable at the time we are speaking,'' Mr. Barnier said. Asked if Mr. Arafat was dead, Mr. Barnier answered, ''I wouldn't say that.''
Doctor emerges from operating room, saying "I have good news and bad news"
Wife: "What's the good news?"
Doctor: "His condition is stable."
Wife: "What's the bad news?"
Doctor: "He's dead."
He's just not trying.
Or press the GFI test button for his hospital room...
Yasser and Suhar were married for 13 years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. Yasser would scream, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave, away from my 72 virgins and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
People feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. Yasser reveled in the fact that he was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a AIDS after lapsing into a coma when he was 75. Suha had a closed casket at the wake and after the burial, she went straight to the
local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her family and friends, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
Suha put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had the old fart buried upside down......."
"'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This Arab is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't strapped 'im to the bed 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-ARAB!!"
Really, is Mr. Bernier's statements all that different than Kerry explaining his position on Iraq?
More nuance. These cheese-eating surrender monkeys wouldn't know honesty if it bit them on the leg.
Kirk: Well Bones, what's the verdict?
McCoy: He's dead Jim!
Spock: Actually, without asertaining the whereabouts of his bank accounts, that call may be premature.
French law sez the spouse controls the output of all information. He 'wouldn't' say that, because he 'can't' say that.
Not until they figure out where to bury him...
You have explained it.
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
That depends on what your definition of "DEAD" is.
Is it possible that he is in "articulo mortis;" neither alive nor dead.
In his short story "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar," E. A. Poe described a situation wherein M. Valdemar was mesmerized (read that hypnotized) as he was making the transition from life to death (articulo mortis). The effect was that M. Valdemar was suspended in his transition for approximately six months.
"The Facts..." is an interesting read and was, in reality, a hoax perpertrated by Poe. He later explained in an "oh by the way..." missive that "The Facts..." was a work of fiction.
Could it be that Yassir was mesmerized in "articulo mortis" and will be around for some time to come? Let us pray that it is not true.
I heard a news report several days ago and, in that report, the Israeli Justice Minister was asked if the burial of Yassir Arafat would be permitted in Jerusalem. His response (paraphrased), "Jerusalem is where Israeli Kings and not Arab terrorists are buried." I only heard this response once and, to my knowledge, this statement was never repeated on any newscast.
I suggested to friends that the Justice Minister might strike a compromise. Permit him to be buried on the outskirts of Jerusalem but only if he is wrapped in a pigskin.
Voted to be dead before voting to be alive...
I would love for this French guy to come out one night and say:
"'eeez not dead. 'eeez just pineeng for the fjords".
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