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Mark Steyn: The Kerryness of Kerry
National Review ^ | September 13, 2004 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 09/21/2004 1:43:42 PM PDT by quidnunc

If I’ve been following the campaign correctly, the typical John Kerry day involves an early-morning stop at Bud’s Truck Stop on Rte 103 at which the Senator orders a hot dog. Asked what he wants on it, he says an aubergine and lemongrass coulis. Afterwards, he heads to Idaho for a windsurfing photo-op to communicate his virility, after first flying out his stylist from Cristophe’s to mousse his hair into its windswept and tousled position. Following questions from the press on the cost of his hairdresser, he first denies that he has a hairdresser and then, when her curling tongs and rollers are pointed out in the back of his family’s SUV, snaps, “She’s not my hairdresser, she’s the family’s hairdresser.”

Later, after a two-man luge run with his Secret Service agent ends with him falling off after 50 yards, he snarls, “I don’t fall off. That sonofabitch agent arched his back too high.” Conceding that he was never in Cambodia on Christmas Eve 1968, the Senator says that those words were repeatedly placed in his mouth by over-zealous speechwriters. He wasn’t in Cambodia, his wife’s first husband’s corporation’s wholly owned subsidiary was in Cambodia. “But if George W Bush’s Republican smear machine wants to make our service in Vietnam an issue, I say to them: BRING. IT. ON!”

“But they have brought it on.”

“Well, if they want to continue bringing it on, I say to them: BRING. IT. ON!”

“But your campaign has put out an ad that President Bush call it off.”

“Well, if he wants to make an issue of my begging him to call it off, I say to him: BRING. IT. ON.”

(Excerpt) Read more at steynonline.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Extended News; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: kerry; marksteyn
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1 posted on 09/21/2004 1:43:43 PM PDT by quidnunc
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To: quidnunc
I like this guy. He writes like I would like to. Wit that cuts like a saber.
2 posted on 09/21/2004 1:49:17 PM PDT by drdemars (Each moment I think a healthy life)
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To: quidnunc

Kerry's arrogance makes him a sitting duck for the comedians.


3 posted on 09/21/2004 1:49:32 PM PDT by Ed_in_NJ ((considering upgrading to pajamas))
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To: quidnunc
I like this guy. He writes like I would like to. Wit that cuts like a saber.
4 posted on 09/21/2004 1:50:08 PM PDT by drdemars (Each moment I think a healthy life)
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To: quidnunc
Reads like a Free Republic thread. You know, one of those sophmoric ones some folks twist their shorts over....

Excellent article.

5 posted on 09/21/2004 1:53:23 PM PDT by blackdog (Proudly wearing Free Republic pajamas, just to piss off Dan Rather.)
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To: Ed_in_NJ

"To that I say, bring it on wabbit"- Daffy(sitting)Duck


6 posted on 09/21/2004 1:56:53 PM PDT by blackdog (Proudly wearing Free Republic pajamas, just to piss off Dan Rather.)
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To: quidnunc

This guy rocks!!


7 posted on 09/21/2004 1:57:42 PM PDT by linear
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To: drdemars

You say saber. I say saber-tooth tiger, only nowhere near extinction.


8 posted on 09/21/2004 1:59:46 PM PDT by linear
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To: quidnunc

"French skiers"?????????


9 posted on 09/21/2004 1:59:53 PM PDT by p. henry
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To: quidnunc

"Senator Kerry was made for the role, a vain thin-skinned droning blueblood with an indestructible sense of his own status but none at all of his own ridiculousness. If Karl Rove had labored for a decade to produce a walking parody of the contemporary Democratic Party’s remoteness, condescension, sense of entitlement, public evasiveness and tortured relationship with military matters, he couldn’t have improved on John F Kerry."


10 posted on 09/21/2004 2:01:18 PM PDT by Atlas Sneezed (Your Friendly Freeper Patent Attorney)
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To: quidnunc

For most of us this would be more than enough to see us through November: Why did John Kerry cross the road? “I crossed the road to volunteer for Vietnam. Some of us know something about what it means to cross the road.” Who was that lady I saw you with last night? “That was no lady, that was my meal ticket.” How many John Kerrys does it take to change a lightbulb? At least four. One to approve the removal of the old lightbulb. One to declare his courageous commitment to replacing the old bulb. One to vote against funding the new lightbulb. And one to denounce George W Bush and America’s Benedict Arnold CEOs for leaving everyone in the dark.


11 posted on 09/21/2004 2:01:36 PM PDT by AmishDude (FR: Hundreds of voices are shouting, spitting, and clamoring for attention at any given moment.)
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To: AmishDude

Bump, ROFLOL


12 posted on 09/21/2004 2:08:01 PM PDT by Gophack
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To: quidnunc

Steyn-o-mite as usual. Do you think he writes these while wearing pajamas?


13 posted on 09/21/2004 2:08:36 PM PDT by COUNTrecount
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To: quidnunc

The Dems managed to find a guy with less charisma than Gore. Quite a trick.


14 posted on 09/21/2004 2:10:44 PM PDT by shteebo
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To: quidnunc

Clintonesque=Kerryesque=Clintonesque=Kerryesque


15 posted on 09/21/2004 2:12:49 PM PDT by Edit35
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To: quidnunc; Neets; Darksheare; scott0347; timpad; KangarooJacqui; The Scourge of Yazid; ...

Steyn draws blood in bucketsful, as usual ;)


16 posted on 09/21/2004 2:14:25 PM PDT by King Prout (yo! sKerry: "Live by the flip, die by the flop." - Frank_Discussion)
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To: quidnunc

KERRY'S FINGER
June 02, 2004
www.washingtontimes.com

"Democratic senator — and certain presidential nominee — John F. Kerry, gave the middle finger to a Vietnam veteran at the Vietnam Memorial Wall on Memorial Day morning," NewsMax.com reported yesterday.

"Ted Sampley, a former Green Beret who served two full tours in Vietnam, spotted Kerry and his Secret Service detail at about 9 a.m. Monday morning at the Wall. Sampley walked up to Kerry, extended his hand and said, 'Senator, I am Ted Sampley, the head of Vietnam Veterans Against John Kerry, and I am here to escort you away from the Wall because you do not belong here.'
"At that point, a Secret Service officer told Sampley to back away from Kerry. Sampley moved about 6 feet away and opened his jacket to reveal a HANOI JOHN T-shirt," NewsMax reported.
"Kerry then began talking to a group of schoolchildren. Sampley then showed the T-shirt to the children and said, 'Kerry does not belong at the Wall because he betrayed the brave soldiers who fought in Vietnam.'
"Just then, Kerry — in front of the schoolchildren, other visitors and Secret Service agents — brazenly 'flashed the bird' at Sampley and then yelled out to everyone, 'Sampley is a felon!'

"Kerry was referring to an incident 12 years ago when Sampley confronted Sen. John McCain's chief aide, Mark Salter, in a Senate stairwell after McCain repeatedly offended POW families at a Senate POW hearing. Sampley, whose father-in-law at that time was MIA in Laos, followed Salter into the stairwell and, when they emerged, Salter had a bloody lip and a broken nose."


17 posted on 09/21/2004 2:18:40 PM PDT by LuckyHat (Kerry burned down my village...and all I got was this lousy tee-shirt.)
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To: quidnunc
The Democratic spinmeisters outspun themselves. If there’s one lesson to be drawn from the 2002 elections it’s that biography is insufficient: The war-wounded Cleland, the widow Carnahan, the old lion Mondale all went down, because come election day losing three limbs or your husband or 49 states is not in itself a qualification for office, not in serious times.

Ouch. Steyn is hands-down, the greatest conservative writer working today.

18 posted on 09/21/2004 2:20:38 PM PDT by bootyist-monk (<--------------------- Republican Attack Machine)
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To: quidnunc

Kerry is the poster child for my favorite original saying. "No matter what color you paint a horse's butt, it is still a horse's butt!"


19 posted on 09/21/2004 2:22:07 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Dan Rather, "I lied, but I lied about the truth".)
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To: King Prout

Thanks for the ping.


20 posted on 09/21/2004 2:23:38 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Dan Rather, "I lied, but I lied about the truth".)
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