Posted on 09/18/2004 9:58:35 AM PDT by PsyOp
C-BS Admits Kerry Footage Fake, But Story True…
UPI (Unseemly Press Int’l).
A new Swift Boat veteran’s television ad has created more controversy for C-BS News. C-BS, recently discovered to be an unregistered 527 PAC operating in lock-step with the DNC, says it did not give the Swift Boat Vets permission to use their news footage of Kerry throwing his medals over the fence at the White House in 1972.
The ad is a series of audio and video clips of Presidential Candidate John Kerry throwing ribbons and medals over the White House fence while explaining in various interviews why he did it and that he was proud that he did. C-BS has insisted that the Swift Boat vets ad be pulled, not just because they did not give their permission for them to be used in the ad, but, in a stunning admission, “because the footage is faked, and we know the swifties wouldn’t want to use fake footage to hurt Kerry—that would be wrong.”
In what appears to be an attempt to get ahead of another brewing crisis, a C-BS spokesman stated, “our investigation of Dan Rather shows he has faked numerous stories in the past. It now appears that the footage of Kerry throwing his medals over the fence was staged by Dan, John and other members of the VVAW.” Recovered footage shows Dan handing a young John Kerry a handful of medals and coaching him on what to do with them.
According to a spokesman for the swifties, “this would appear to explain why John Kerry could not remember the number, or types of medals and ribbons he threw over the fence. This theory is supported by those who have seen this lost footage, and say that it took Kerry several attempts to get them over the fence. “He throws like a ‘girly man’” said one C-BS insider. “Receipts show that we had to make several trips to the Army/Navy store to buy more medals until he got it right.”
Coming to his own defense, Rather said, “Look, we’ve been faking the news for years. I mean, who has time to go out and fact-check when you have deadlines to meet. We know what’s true and what’s not. So what if we engineered a few facts to support our version of things? In the news business the end justifies the means. I just wish these stupid bloggers would get with the program. I mean what kind of loser has nothing better to do than compare fonts on memos?”
Asked about C-BS’s sudden admission that the Kerry footage was faked, Rather said, “They’ve known all along. They just didn’t care so long as my faked news stories only hurt Republicans. But thanks to these ‘pajama people’ exercising their first amendment rights, this one backfired on our man Kerry. We can’t have that. And if it means admitting we faked a news story to keep the swifties from telling the truth about Kerry, then so be it.”
The ‘pajama people’ say to Dan, "what's the frequency Kenneth?"
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