Posted on 07/12/2004 1:14:02 PM PDT by Area Freeper
WASHINGTON, (AFP) - Americans allergic to the subtle Democratic flavor of Heinz ketchup can now plunge their "freedom fries" into a 100-percent guaranteed, patriotic alternative: "W Ketchup."
"You don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?" says the W Ketchup Internet site wketchup.com, which promises a totally US-made condiment, right down to the bottle.
Heinz ketchup is an institution on American dining tables.
But the taste has soured a little for Republicans because Heinz empire heiress Teresa Heinz-Kerry is married to John Kerry (news - web sites), the Democrat hoping to unseat George W. Bush -- also known simply as "W" -- on November 2.
W Ketchup insists its initial stands for Washington, as in first president George Washington, whose face adorns its bottle beneath the Stars and Stripes.
The new-comer makes no attempt to hide its leanings, even sporting a poetic homage to Republican icon Ronald Reagan (news - web sites), who died June 5 at 93, on its Internet site.
"G5s (Gulfstream jets) or GIs? A Tough Choice," W. Ketchup tells prospective customers.
"Choose Heinz and you're supporting Teresa and her husband's Gulfstream Jet, and liberal causes such as Kerry for President," it warns.
"When you choose W Ketchup, you also support the Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund, which provides scholarships to the children of our brave heroes who have fallen in battle."
Heinz has 57 varieties, but also 57 foreign factories, it claims.
"W Ketchup comes in one flavor: American."
"We are simply a group of friends who came up with the idea at a barbecue in upstate New York a few months ago. We are all investors," said W Ketchup chief operating officer Susie Oliver.
Thousands of bottles had been sold in the three and a half weeks of business, she said. Orders are taken in batches of four bottles for 12 dollars plus shipping.
Testimonials on the company's Internet site are glowing for the Republican-style ketchup.
"Thank you for giving us a delicious American alternative to the standard Heinz Ketchup. Henry Heinz may have been a great American, but I have absolutely no interest in supporting The Kerry's anti-American causes," wrote "S.S" of Akron, Ohio.
Heinz says it is non-partisan, stressing that all the Heinz family trusts together hold less than four percent of the stock. Neither Teresa Heinz, nor her husband, have any role in management, it stresses.
The ketchup war is only the latest political skirmish to be fought on the battlegound of American menus.
Many Americans, angered by France's refusal to back the war in Iraq (news - web sites), switched last year to calling their French fries "freedom fries."
Star Spangled Ice Cream was also launched last year as a conservative alternative to the produce of Ben and Gerry's, the ecology-leaning company whose founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield had supported Democrat Dennis Kucinich (news - web sites)'s unsuccessful campaign for the presidential nomination.
Among the flavors offered by Star Spangled Ice Cream: "I Hate The French VANILLA (Real American Vanilla, NOT French Vanilla)" and "Nutty Environmentalist (Rich Buttery Ice Cream with Roasted Pecans)."
Or, for a quarter the price, you could buy Hunts. Anything but Heinz.
What is wrong with home-grown American ketchup? I do like the slap at Heinz whom The Lurch lives off though.
Fries can also be eaten; plain, with mayo, or with malt vinegar (British chips).
Conservatives are simply being petty here. I don't care if Stalin makes it, Heinz ketchup tastes great.
I agree this is nothing but petty. I don't care much for Heinz though. I like ketchup runny and Heinz is too thick for my tastes.
We're not going to open it though, it's going to be a nasty souvenir in a decade or two.
(Heinz ketchup is the best! Sorry, but its true. It is to ketchup what Hellman's is to mayonnaise.)
I didn't know that. Thanks.
Who makes it?
I don't want to look at her name on the bottle. If it said Stalin on the bottle, I wouldn't want it either.
This may be a case of conservatives being petty as you assert. On the other hand these people had an idea for a product and marketing scheme where they could make some money and took it. Doesn't get much more American than that, and if it's a slap in Kerry's face so much the better.
I say good for them, I'll stick with my cheap-o store brand though thanks very much.
Petty, yes. Funny, yes.
I don't think I'll be going back to subsidizing the Communist Party of the United States of America (the entity formerly known as the Democratic Party) by buying from Heinz any more.
My mother was scratching out Heinz on all the ketchup bottles at the restaurants. So I made here some stickers that say VoteBush 2004 that she put on them now.
I had to buy her these. Might be more than Hunts but Hunts did not think of it. These guys did and they are on our side so what the heck...Mom will love it!
"..top brass at Heinz is solidly Republican..."
I'd say that the top brass of almost every American company is solidly Republican, with a few exceptions.
Heinz is horrible, one like at the stuff could kill a horse.
Ter-ray-sa, that is.
Heinz ketchup has been known to be spread on dead animals!
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