The "experts" I was referring to were specifically from within the Correctional community. Their views are supposedly based on more than what the criminals had to say about it. (Any state's "offender version" file is usually an interesting read, and of course usually has very little bearing on what actually happened.)
The whole business about forcible sex being about power HAS to recognize the having of power. ALL of our rape felons found a way to seize the power to commit rape. ALL of our "internal misconduct" rape cases were because the inmate found a way to seize the power to commit rape.
From what the district attorneys and correctional officers and court appointed experts had to say, none of them would have committed the crime if he hadn't found a way to get access to a victim. (sounds like they were being kind of obvious to me - you can't steal something that you can't get near)
Meanwhile, the problem with using gay "literature" as a source is that it is mostly porn. If we look at the porn on our side of the fence, we find plenty of stuff that advocates bondage, wife-swapping and God knows what else.
I am sure that there are gay men who are not into bondage. (and that there are three or four straight guys who only read Penthouse for the articles) (I really do, Mom! I promise!)
I guess what I am suggesting here is that the most visible homosexuals are usually the ones who are easy to lump in with the rapists. It doesn't seem logical to equate the soldier who keeps his (gay) sex life a secret, and who serves with honor (other than the secret he's keeping), with a rapist who was "heterosexual" up until the day he got a chance to commit an atrocity.
The really scary thing here is in your last line: "... that would have no bearing on what others see them as."
I wonder how many straight men who happen to act a bit effeminate get bashed because of "what others see them as".
(btw, I am NOT suggesting that you would condone bashing)
However, if we go out and interview a thousand rapists and they tell us they did it for the sex, I'd say there's definitely a trendline there that we ought to pay attention to no matter what the expert facilitators might wish to tell us.
As far as bashing gays because of effeminate behavior, it's not as common as you might believe.