Why Do We Tolerate Awful People?

http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2004/6/1/115724.shtml ^ | June 1, 2004 | Neil Cavuto

[Skooz]

Down here, it's the occassional rude person who stands out!

That's quite true. In the South, the worst thing one can do to another is to be impolite.

I went to California a few years back and was struck by how many rude people worked behind store counters, in gas stations, etc. It wasn't that they were being consciously rude; it's just that I was used to being in the South.

[Xenalyte]

Still fully armed, thanks for asking! :)

I should confess that I stole that line from Kelly Bundy. No one ever seems to recognize it, though.

[FITZ]

10-15% unemployment would work wonders to eliminate rude service workers.

I don't think that has anything to do with it --- look how upper management just wants to cut costs by hiring cheap and allowing high turnover. Many service businesses today do nothing to reward or retain good employees who move on because they're able. They figure anyone can be replaced with a lesser paid worker and that's it. Job training costs something so it doesn't get done.

[Xenalyte]

I have a blast at work! Of course, I'm in marketing.

[Skooz]

I think it's more that no one will ADMIT to recognizing that line.

Just like most people won't admit to knowing what costumes Beavis & Butthead wore for Halloween.

[LadyShallott]

I fly every three months usually and have done so for years. The level of courtesy (if you can call it that) has declined to the point that they throw the door open and let you board the plane. After that it's a fend for yourself mentality. No meals, no service, and no smiles. I had a flight attendant get angry with me because I asked for more than one bag of peanuts for three people. I asked for a pillow as well, it sent her over the edge. She walked to the front of the plane and began to lecture people about the limited service they were entitled to receive. I never flew with that airline again. I think we should be more attentive to how we treat the people around us. Being a good neighbor seems to have gone to hell in a handbasket.

[FITZ]

people who are nothing more than ignorant peasants in their outlook, manners, etc. The flip side of this is that reducing your costs often requires you to hire people who are nothing more than ignorant peasants in their outlook, manners, etc.

That's exactly it. When we look for the very cheapest possible, we have to expect that we're also going to be dealing with the lowest type employees who must accept the lowest wages, and businesses that don't bother to make any kind of investment in service or training. Those employees then get the rudest customers and their attitude worsens.

[Xenalyte]

I will proclaim my B&BH allegiance from the rooftops, but I must have missed that episode . . . what DID they go as? Was Cornholio a part of the festivities?

Here's a gratuitous Kelly Bundy pic.

[Xenalyte]

You should tell us which airline that was. I'd rather not give it any more of my money either.

[LadyShallott]

America West Airlines. :)

[sneakers]

I was reduced to tears one time too many by rude customers who brought their anger to my register when a rude imployee in another part of the store wouldn't help them.

I work in local government now. I help people search for their family history and I consider that, though it is not MY family and, therefore, not of importance to ME - that it IS important to THEM and I try to honor that by being the best researcher I can be. People are absolutely stunned that they get such friendly, helpful service from someone in a government job. I have been to other courthouses where I was treated so rudely that I wanted to walk out! Of course, I have to say that the people I work with are exceptional - most are friendly and more than willing to help the public.

[Xenalyte]

You are the exception. How do you manage to keep your job? Every time I've dealt with the federales, it seems they're hand-picked for surliness.

[Gatún(CraigIsaMangoTreeLawyer)]

Thank you for the post.

I love Neil too. Is there a link where I can read some of his past articles? I'm looking for one in particular.

Thank you.

[ravingnutter]

My experiences and attitudes are similar to yours, been on both sides of the service counter. I do purchasing for the Air Force and run into rude employees of vendors on a daily basis. I have had to learn to be controlled in my responses but firm in my resolve to get the best possible deal I can.

People are amazed that I can cut my emotions off so quickly. Sometimes when the phone rings and I have had a bad day, I say "What the h*** do you want now!" and then when I pick up the phone, I am as sweet as I can be to the person on the other end. It carries over into my personal life as well...I mean, I could be nasty and tell the bagger that they just don't put the groceries in the truck the way I like them (cold stuff under the A/C vent, cans in the back seat), but instead I just smile and say no thanks when they ask if I need help. All it takes is a little self-control, and I do expect the same of others.

[AmericanInTokyo]

I can guarantee everything you said in your post just now (post #17) about the level and care and cleanliness and efficiency of service JAPAN!!

One often gets 'reverse culture shock' when returning to the States, particularly after maybe a year or two in Japan (where one gets spoiled) to get confronted immediately, even upon landing at the airport, with crappy attitudes, mistakes, and just plain unconcerned and disrespectful attitude toward the customer. It slaps you right in the face, you get angry, and after a few weeks and months though, you get use to the lowered level of service again. What else can you do? "Oh well, this is afterall America, after all", you kind of roll around in your head as you re-adjust to generally lower standards.

Not a sermon or harrangue here. Just the truth.

[newgeezer]

Even your bottom-line-is-everything, cost-cutting employers want the best value for their cheap labor dollar. Given enough time, high unemployment weeds out the underperformers.

[Alouette]

The rudest country in the world is...

...ISRAEL!!

Rudeness is like a badge of honor. Israelis like to call themselves "Sabras" which is a kind of fruit that is hard and prickly on the outside but soft and mushy on the inside.

Although I have to admit that with some people, particularly party hacks and government bureaucrats, the hard and prickly part goes all the way through.

Maybe it has to do with the stress of not knowing if the guy you sit next to on the bus you ride every day is going to blow himself and you to his virgins. I lived there 30 years ago and people were rude then, there were more who remembered that waiting quietly and politely in line just made them easier to dispose of.

[Xenalyte]

All it takes is a little self-control, and I do expect the same of others.

That's it in a nutshell.

[Skooz]

My first job in high school was as a busboy in a restaraunt. From there I worked in a Firestone pumping gas, changing oil, repairing cars, changing tires. Then I went to a company where I changed tires full time.

I was in almost constant contact with the public throughout that time. The customers ran the gamut from saintly to "if I could get away with it I would kill this guy." The level of rudeness by some of the customers during that time was stunning. I have never seen humans treating others so horribly.

Nevertheless, I always treated customers the way I would like to be treated. It's something I inherited from my dad. I never saw him be even remotely rude to a service person. Ever.

So now, I go out of my way to be nice to people serving me. The only times I have lost it were when the person was being rude or snotty and I was in the right. Even then, I have invariably apologized.

[M. Dodge Thomas]

In most areas of the Country, people are not serving friends and neighbors anymore. We are just a number, a faceless warm body to them.

Also, I think there's a big and increasing difference between dealing with someone providing a service and someone performing a function.

In the first case (say, a server in a sit-down restaurant) the person you are dealing with is usually in a position to exert substantial control over the quality of their results.

In the second (say, the airline counter agent dealing with a delayed flight or a typical customer service rep at the other end of the phone line) the person with whom you are dealing may same some control over the content and tone of your interaction, but they often have little control over the quality of service they provide, which is predetermined by rules and systems over which they generally have little if any control.

And the goal of "customer service" management, for better or worse, whether it is managing a fast-food checkout line or a customer call center, is to replace expensive and variable-quality "service" with inexpensive and standardized-quality "function" whenever possible.