Gay couple denied communion in northern Minnesota church

InForum ^ | May 9, 2004

[NYer]

A gay couple in northern Minnesota is angry and upset over being told they no longer should take communion or sing in the choir at their church because of their lifestyle.

Dale Sand and Tom Pepera, who have been together for five years, say their priest has asked them to restrict their participation in church activities after a letter Sand wrote was printed in the Grand Forks Herald on Easter Sunday.

In the letter, Sand responded to previous letters warning against gay marriage and homosexuality in general. He wrote that being gay wasn't a choice and said God had made him that way.

In response, the Rev. Larry Wieseler, who serves at St. Mary's parishes in Baudette, Williams and Falun, telephoned Sand and told him he and Pepera should no longer come up to receive Eucharist during Mass nor serve communion to others or sing in the choir. That led the couple to quit the church in Baudette.

When Wieseler discusses the situation it's evident he has struggled with how to minister the first gay couple he's known in his parishes. He's talked to the two men more than once about the church's teaching on sex outside traditional marriage.

Wieseler said he's tried not to be hard-nosed about it, but that when Sand went public he had to do something.

"I was just suggesting that he should not come to communion," Wieseler said. "I said that because you are publicly manifesting that, unless you repent of that, you should not come to receive the Lord, because you are not one with him. You are sort of biting the hand that feeds you."

A few weeks ago, Wieseler gave a sermon on why same-sex marriage isn't approved by the Catholic church. Some liked the homily, some - including Sand - didn't.

Wieseler is doing the right thing, said Monsignor Roger Grundhaus, chancellor of the Crookston diocese.

The church teaches that being homosexual is not sinful, but that engaging in homosexual practices violates natural law and Christ's teaching, Grundhaus said.

Sand and Pepera each were born into Catholic families and say they take their faith seriously. Pepera, in fact, says it was the Catholic teaching on communion that brought him back to the church a decade ago after he had lapsed.

"At communion, you are truly receiving the body and blood of Christ," he said. "To attain eternal life, you must take communion."

Sand, 43, and Pepera, 49, were married when they first "got together" at a Catholic retreat five years ago. Both were soon divorced. Pepera has three children. Sand has two.

The two men have been active as a couple in their parish for four years, leading the singing and serving communion, first in Warroad and the past two years in Baudette - the same church where Pepera was born, baptized and confirmed.

Both Pepera and Sand say they aren't standing on soapboxes and aren't part of gay activist groups.

"I'm not trying to force the issue," Sand said. "But at the same time, I'm not going to hide anymore. I have for 40 years of my life."

[NYer]

"Homosexual unions are totally lacking in the biological and anthropological elements of marriage and family which would be the basis, on the level of reason, for granting them legal recognition. Such unions are not able to contribute in a proper way to the procreation and survival of the human race. The possibility of using recently discovered methods of artificial reproduction, beyond involving a grave lack of respect for human dignity,(15) does nothing to alter this inadequacy."

CONSIDERATIONS REGARDING PROPOSALS TO GIVE LEGAL RECOGNITION TO UNIONS BETWEEN HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS

[NYer]

Catholic Ping - let me know if you want on/off this list

[NYer]

Ping!

[lilylangtree]

Kudos to the church and its leadership for standing their ground on what's right and wrong.

[anniegetyourgun]

"A gay couple in northern Minnesota is angry and upset over being told they no longer should take communion or sing in the choir at their church because of their lifestyle."

Gentlemen, you weren't refused for your "lifestyle," you were refused for your open and unrepentent hostility to God and His Word.

[VOA]

Sand, 43, and Pepera, 49, were married when they first "got together" at a Catholic
retreat five years ago. Both were soon divorced. Pepera has three children. Sand has two.

Paul maybe had this sort of mess in mind when he advised caution in marriage.
And that some Christians probably just should forgo marriage.

[Zack Nguyen]

How long before a homosexual couple likes this sues a church for denying them their first amendment right to "freedom of religion"? How long before they find a court that will rule in their favor?

[2banana]

I want to join an organization for what it represents then change it when I don't want to follow their rules.

Why does this remind me of the famous Groucho Marx quote in reverse?

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
-- Groucho Marx

[4CJ]

Kudos to the church and its leadership for standing their ground on what's right and wrong.

Not a Catholic, but thank God some priests have a spine. Kudos to Rev. Larry Wieseler.

[ActionNewsBill]

"To attain eternal life, you must take communion."

Where did he get a wacky idea like that?

[ItsBacon]

How is this news? Isn't this what's supposed to happen?

[sonserae]

If this couple would actually open the Bible and read it, they might learn a thing or two.

[AD from SpringBay]

Non Catholic amen to that!

[Lost Highway]

I want to be a member of Christ's church but I don't want to change. Sad.

[anniegetyourgun]

I think Paul was talking about the entanglements of marriage keeping one from being more free to serve God anywhere, anytime. Remember too, he made it clear that those who are married should not seek to be unmarried....as these boys did.

[eastsider]

Wieseler said he's tried not to be hard-nosed about it, but that when Sand went public he had to do something.

I pray that other priests are as courageous on Pentecost Sunday when the members of the Rainbow Sash Movement present themselves for communion adorned with the sashes that are meant to publicly proclaim their lack of unity with Catholic moral teaching.

[FormerLib]

...you were refused for your open and unrepentent hostility to God and His Word.

Amen bump!

[anniegetyourgun]

It starts by buying into one lie...then the next....and the next....

[Busywhiskers]

Is this a problem?

[tessalu]

These dudes deny that they had free choice. They deny that they are even able to use "self control". Maybe God did give them over to a "reprobate mind".

Romans 1:"28": And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

"29": Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

"30": Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

"31": Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

"32": Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.