With Friends Like These: A Not-So-Funny Legacy

BreakPoint with Charles Colson ^ | May 6, 2004 | Charles Colson

[Mr. Silverback]

If you never pick up a newspaper, turn on the television, or listen to the radio, you just might have missed the news that NBC’s situation comedy Friends is ending its ten-year run. The media is giving this event about as much coverage as it would give the second coming of Christ—maybe even more. USA Today alone has published so many features on the show in the past several months that NBC ought to have the paper on its payroll as a publicity agent.

The popular show about six glamorous and appealing young New Yorkers is widely seen as a cultural milestone. Perhaps the most bizarre sign of the show’s perceived importance was a rash of articles that came out not long after September 11, celebrating Friends as the kind of “comfort TV” that would help us all feel normal again.

And while that’s debatable, for sure, no one can deny that Friends has had a deep impact—deep, but regrettably not very positive.

Look at some of what are considered the show’s classic moments: a lesbian wedding (in which the ex-husband of one of the women gave her away); a drunken Las Vegas wedding that soon ended in divorce; various premarital sexual relationships and partner swapping; and one character’s foray into unwed motherhood—the television kind of motherhood, that is, where the baby hardly ever inconveniences anyone or even shows up. Nearly every week, using winsome characters, the show reached levels of vulgarity and sexual frankness that continued to define deviancy downward.

Am I—like the media—taking Friends too seriously? After all, it’s only supposed to be comic relief. But comedy is what made the show so dangerous. Comedy gets under our radar in a way that political debates don’t.

Consider a study commissioned by the RAND Corporation and published in the journal Pediatrics a few months ago. The researchers came to the incredible conclusion that Friends and shows like it were useful for sex education, because teenagers remembered their sexual messages so well. The fact that these messages were unhealthy somehow escaped the researchers’ notice. And this is all the more disturbing since a large percentage of Friends’s audience is teenagers and even preteens. And for an increasing number of them, nobody is stepping in to counteract the sexual lessons that they’ve learned from Friends.

It’s hard to argue that Friends presented a false picture of what goes on in our culture. Premarital sex is widespread among both adults and teens—even in the church. But the real problem with Friends was that it made this kind of lifestyle look like fun. Even a show like Sex and the City, with all its bed-hopping, showed someone getting hurt once in a while. On Friends, by contrast, it was all in good fun. No sexual relationship was ever so damaging that it couldn’t be healed by a new one within the next few weeks. That’s a picture that has nothing at all to do with reality.

Yes, the critics are right, as overblown as they sometimes sound: Friends has left a lasting mark on our popular culture. And Christian parents, pastors, and youth ministers need to face up to the damage and step up to the task of reconstruction.

[Mr. Silverback]

The media is giving this event about as much coverage as it would give the second coming of Christ—maybe even more.

Definitely more. If Jesus came back today, most of the current media would hide under their desks.

a drunken Las Vegas wedding that soon ended in divorce

Britney Spears guest starred? I didn't know that...

various premarital sexual relationships and partner swapping

I haven't watched the show in 6 or 7 years, but"partner-swapping"? I think that's a stretch. It's only partner swapping if it goes, "Here's my wife/girlfriend, go ahead and sleep with her while I sleep with your wife/girlfriend."

unwed motherhood—the television kind of motherhood, that is, where the baby hardly ever inconveniences anyone or even shows up.

Yeah, that sucks, but at least they didn't try to make abortion funny.

[Mr. Silverback]

BreakPoint/Chuck Colson Ping!

If anyone wants on or off my BreakPoint Ping List, please notify me here or by freepmail.

[Windsong]

"Yeah, that sucks, but at least they didn't try to make abortion funny"

Watch the Seinfeld episode called "The Couch" for a pardody of the abortion issue that is guarnteed a laugh. Elaine is obviously a pro-abortion girl, but Jerry seems to swing in the other direction.

[Mr. Silverback]

RAND Corp says we should use episodes of "Friends" in sex-ed courses.

ProLife Ping!

If anyone wants on or off my ProLife Ping List, please notify me here or by freepmail.

[Alberta Pride]

If "Friends" was so funny.....

How come they used a laugh-track?

Good Riddance to a bad show

[Mr. Bird]

I lost interest in the show after a couple of years (the ages of the characters correspond with mine, and the absurdity of the "situations" in this sit-com got to be too much). But I think Colson is overreacting a bit.

You bring up a good point regarding unwed motherhood vs. abortion. It is no small feat that the show allowed the child to be born. Additionally, the shows I've seen rarely revolved around the issues that concern Colson; the sex issues were always in the background to a degree. Compare that with Seinfeld's "The Contest" (possibly one of the funniest TV episodes ever), and Friends is pretty tame.

As for the preteen audience, that's the parents' responsibility.

[Bismarck]

"Friends" is just a so-so sitcom. It has some funny moments, but I don't get the hype. NBC has made way better sitcoms like Seinfeld or Frazier. In my opinion, the best sitcoms right now are King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond on CBS - yes, probably the only decent thing to watch on that unholy station. And of course, FOX's Malcolm in the Middle and Arrested Development.

[isthisnickcool]

I've never seen this show.

[Hodar]

This show is entertainment, and it delivered exactly that. "M*A*S*H" did not glorify war, or cross-dressing. "Married with Children" did not show the up side of a working family; "All in the Family" took difficult subjects, and let us laugh at them. "The Lone Ranger" didn't champion the vigilante', "Mr. Rogers" didn't push the up-side of psychosis, and "The Golden Girls" wasn't about Geritol and sex.

These shows are called satire. I think the author needs to lighten up.

[sauropod]

Me neither.

[victoryatallcosts]

I think, without question, the best sitcoms today are Arrested Development on Fox and Scrubs on NBC.

[Maria S]

"In my opinion, the best sitcoms right now are King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond on CBS"


Couldn't agree more! The couple of times I watched "Friends" it seemed pretty shallow. According to what a friend says, the only two that DIDN'T sleep together were the brother and sister (don't know their names).

[reagan_fanatic]

I never understood the appeal of Friends. If seemed to me to be one long, agonizing exersize in how many different ways you can make jokes about penises, sex, boobs and butts.

Good riddance to bad garbage.

[VoiceOfBruck]

My first thought when I heard the first of many advertisements for Friends' last episode on the radio (don't watch TV): Is that show still on the air?

[pabianice]

I watched the show twice, didn't laugh once, and never watched again. Any other Freepers have a similar reaction?

[Mr. Bird]

I think, without question, the best sitcoms today are Arrested Development on Fox and Scrubs on NBC.

I've only seen each one a few times, but they are hysterical. They both make me laugh out loud. Chappelle's Show on Comedy Central is one of the funniest (sketch-based) shows I've ever seen. He's a genius.

[codyjacksmom]

Friends is my favorite show of all times. I'll miss it when it's gone...at least I''ll have syndication.

[codyjacksmom]

Thought you'd like to comment on this!

[dakine]

Friends is going off the air?

[codyjacksmom]

Tonight is the last episode ever. Two hour special and then they are all on Leno. They are killing me here. Get out the box of Kleenex!!!