[Clinging Bitterly]

The version I heard didn't have any penguins in it. Short version:

Traveling Alaska native (can we still say Eskimo?) is having trouble with his snowmobile. Leaves it at a repair shop and goes off to have lunch. After lunch he returns to the shop and inquires about the status of his snowmobile. "Looks like you blew a seal", says the mechanic. "Nah," he says, wiping his face, "it's just mayo."

[3catsanadog]

Got another one along the line of this thread:

Fussy woman is in the veterinarian's waiting room with her poodle. In comes another woman with a Great Dane and sits down near her.

The fussy woman is a talkative type and starts to talk about her poodle. "I've reached the end of my rope with my poodle. I'm so embarrassed. Every time I have my bridge club over, he starts inappropriately attaching himself to the ladies' legs and, oh goodness me, acting in a sexual manner."

The woman with the Great Dane said, "oh, I know what you mean. Every time I get out of the shower and bend over to dry my legs, he jumps up on me."

The first woman said "Oh!! So you're going to have him neutered too!"

The second woman said, "No, I'm having his nails clipped."