'That's what it's come to . . . We see children who are adult oriented as being aberrant'

The Globe and Mail ^ | Saturday, January 31, 2004 | ALANNA MITCHELL

[Publius6961]

BIG BUMP!

I didn't realize that there was a clinical name for this phenomenon. It has always existed to some degree, among what used to be called "losers". Now it seems to be a substantial percentage of the total.

[Publius6961]

I feel no obligation to explain myself to adults either. How about an obligation to leave other people alone or let kids be kids?

:::: whizzing sound of an unknown object going by rapidly over a person's head ::::

[FITZ]

Their obsession with their friends and acquaintances supplants any real interest in adults to the point that they are emotionally detached even from their parents.

Some of this is just natural ---at age 15 or 16 kids start thinking about being adults, leaving their parents. They have to think they're rebelling but a lot of times, they're just doing exactly what they're parents are doing. How many of the parents showed by example it's very important to impress your peers --- driving cars they couldn't afford, living in upscale houses and trying to keep up or stay ahead of the neighbors?

[Publius6961]

How many of the parents showed by example it's very important to impress your peers --- driving cars they couldn't afford, living in upscale houses and trying to keep up or stay ahead of the neighbors?

That's just another symptom of the malady: 35-year-olds arrested at the 8-year emotional level.

[garbanzo]

If some stranger came up to me when I was teenager and demanded my time for his project, I'd might be slightly rude to him. The kids here were under no obligation to cooperate with some strange guy asking them questions.

[Jaysun]

What I'm responding to is the notion not that there are no social concerns, but rather that somehow or another today's teens are vastly more violent and out of control than compared to historical norms, as you suggested by implying that today's teens will steal anything that isn't bolted down.

OK. Here's a chart from the US Department of Justice - Bureau of Justice Statistics. I included a link at the top of the chart so that you can go see this one and others if you'd like. The numbers represent the total number of arrest per 100,000 population (to adjust for population growth). The total number has been climbing since 1970 on this chart. Even though it went down in 1999, it's still a 50% increase over 1970. The same holds true from 1960. The rates were relatively normal from year to year before that. I'm having trouble "uploading" the other chart, but will do so if I can. If this doesn't make you reconsider, nothing else will.

[mark_interrupted]

I try to provide stimulating topics of conversation.

[mark_interrupted]

I agree with your sentiment.

[mark_interrupted]

What is new is that there is now a greatly decreased parental counter weight...Bonding with peers is a part of growing up, but this is an extreme situation. I have concluded that it is a response to the latchkey kid phenomenon where kids grewup without parental oversite. Those kids grew into the teenagers that are discussed in the article.

[mark_interrupted]

Exactly

[B4Ranch]

Have you read this article yet? Holding the door open for our political leaders

[Just Kimberly]

God Love you! As a mother of a 19 year old, and almost 16 (the 13th of this month), I can say - your mother must be VERY proud of you. I am VERY proud of you!

I understand, as I have heard my kids talk about the same things. They stick to their guns and close to home. One is heading to the Military after college, and the other is a Firefighter. It is tough out there.

To the parents reading this, I have only one thing to say: If you do not have control of your two year old, you will not have control of your sixteen year old. You must start young, stay the course, and HANG ON!

[Just Kimberly]

Thank you for this article. It is something EVERY PARENT needs to read and understand. If you do not have control of your two year old, you will not have control of your sixteen year old. I heard James Dobson say that about 15 years ago, and began raising my children by that rule. IT IS TRUE.

Thanks for an eye opener, it needed to be brought out, The TRUTH sometimes hurts, but it has to come out.