Skip to comments.2004: Predictions for the Presidential Election Cycle
Posted on 01/07/2004 11:34:50 AM PST by Maria S
2004 is sure to be a banner year for American politics. Hard-Left Liberals will try to steer focus away from our presidents successful foreign policy by doing what they do best: creating more crises on the domestic front to scare voters to their polls.
In reality, their biggest crisis is that with the Bush tax cuts given credit for the economy rebounding, the stock market maintaining renewed strength above 10,000, jobless people finding work, and the huge Medicare spending bill passed by a Republican Congress and President, their own political turfdomestic economic issueshas been stripped from them.
Therefore, the Liberals, desperate to win back control in the 2004 election cycle, will provide plenty of entertainment as they grapple for an issue mainstream Americans will support.
So here they are, our Hard-Left Predictions for 2004: In order to mask their looming insignificance, leading Hard-Left Liberals will try to convince the public that no American beef is safe to eat. They will tout a Mad Cow Crisis until, they hope, Americans become terrified of eating beef and sales drop sharply, causing a crash in the agricultural economy. If successful, these Liberals will then come to the rescue, blaming the Bush administration for not protecting the beef industry, while promising new beef subsidies at taxpayer cost.
Taking another approach to the Mad Cow Crisis, PETA will release statements that meat-eating Americans deserve whatever harm awaits them for their cruel sins against the disenfranchised animal community. A fear-invoking and guilt-trip-ridden national vegetarian campaign will ensue.
A Health Awareness Crisis will mount as over-eager Hard-Left politicians attack American smokers. These otherwise champions of choice will impose more self-righteous, Socialist-like laws to prohibit our decisions to participate in activities we may enjoy, regardless of their health consequences.
That means more public smoking bans across the country as Liberals tell smokers that their superior opinion outweighs ones ability to enjoy ones own lifestyle choices especially when that choice contributes to a national crisis.
Feminists often spout an Aggressive Male Crisis, and they are sure not to disappoint in this New Year. Following on the heels of the successful TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, feminists will put heavy pressure on toy companies to market their exciting new instructional device for young boys, a Male Improvement Doll.
This new toy, inspired by rabid feminists desire to reprogram men to suit their agenda needs, features sloppily dressed male dolls with bad haircuts and domineering attitudes. Each doll comes with new wardrobe choices and accessories, child-size hair-styling devices, and a booklet of how-to tips for minimizing masculine behavior and responding Yes, Dear to his female partner, Beautiful-at-Any-Size Doll.
Howard Dean, a proud metrosexual, will hold a press conference to announce that not only does he own and play with the Male Improvement Doll, but he also will make the doll mandatory curriculum for all public preschool and kindergarten programs if elected president.
Last, but certainly not least, Liberal political strategists will clamor over the Democrat Presidential Nominee Crisis. This crisis is designed to draw extended hype over the ever-tantalizing question about Hillarys presidential run. Will she or wont she? will make constant headline news in the mainstream media and be continuously toyed with by Hillary and her staff.
Hillary will pretend she has no intentions of running for president, but will work hard behind the scenes to make sure her face appears at the top of each evening broadcast. So, will she or wont she? We dont even know that, but itll certainly be fun to watch.
Unfortunately for feminists, the Green Beret GI Joe doll and the Arnold the Governor doll kick sand in the face of the "Male Improvement Doll," and dump the Beautiful-at-Any-Size Doll for the Ann Coulter doll.
It's like the people who were predicting Gray Davis would resign to stave off the recall. They just don't get it. People like that have to be dragged out of office kicking and screaming. They'd never go voluntarily.
And that of all the illegals who now have apparently been given the right to vote here. Why the heck don't we just mail ballots to everyone in the world and let everyone help us elect our elected officials. Heck I can hardly wait till voting night to hear the returns: From Bum***, Egypt, 23 votes for Bush, 4.7 million for Dean; from Johan, SA, 19 votes for Bush, 8.8 million for Algore; from Tehran, Iran, 2 votes for Bush, 9 billion for Klinton. Yup, can't wait for the world to elect their democrat since we won't.
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