I think you're ignoring half of the message here. The article clearly addresses the happiness of both partners in a marriage. I don't see how the "3 A's" of approval, appreciation and affection toward one's spouse can realistically be construed as a manipulative game of control and submission. Who's the loser?
I am more than curious as to Dr. Laura's position on what men should give to women. She seems to be an advocate that men are wired differently, which I wholeheartedly agree with. Yet, I also know that all men are not the same. The wiring may be the same, but the way the light turns on is completely different in every man.
But I also feel that she is neglicting the emotional side of women here. Women are also wired very different. Very rarely have I seen a man give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want in return for the 3 A's. Heck, if what Dr. Laura states is true, then women wouldn't rely so much on their girlfriends and moms! I dunno. Maybe its real life experience on my part, and observations from so many friends whose marriages have failed.
Practicing the three A's does not guarantee anything. Dr. Laura makes it sound like it does. There isn't an exact science to marriage, and trying to figure out what works for everyone, I think, is foolish. Guidelines? Maybe.
So I'm a bit skeptical. We all have different ideas and ideals about love and marriage. What works for some usually does not work for all. In my mind, the basis for marital success is simple- love and respect.