[dubyagee]

How about trying to do what Dr. Laura suggests; act like you love him and 'F' his brains out. Guys don't care about your motivation, and you might find you enjoy it as well. Unless he is an abuser or alcoholic, a woman like that would have no competition for her man.

I don't know how much of this you read, but for the last four or five years I've never said no to him. I was cold and distant in the beginning years of our marriage. His affair took place after I changed (to the good) and therefore I am struggling with the fact that he did this when I was doing all I could to be the good wife.

It has been a year since I found out, and I am still here. I am trying to accept his reasoning that he did it because of who I used to be. I am also struggling with the way he did it, because he did some really beyond sorry things. He says he has changed now too, but his manner does not show this. Only time will tell.

[connectthedots]

Please accept my apology. My ex said no so often, I stopped bothering to ask. It sounds like you accepted your responsibility but your husband hasn't.

As you must well know, you can't control other people and sometimes nothing you can do will change things.