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To: SarahW
Once again, I appreciate your well-worded and thoughful reply to my question. Once again, it gives insight into how women think.

Now if I could trouble you with one more query...

What IF a man were to buy flowers from a nice flower shop each and every time, spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that is going to die in a few days anyway, just to show his affection and make this effort to show his woman that she is very special to him? Will a woman get tired of the same old one hundred dollar flowers and eventually start analyzing and questioning in the same manner you described anyway?

If so, then isn't it a case of being damned if you do or don't?

666 posted on 01/08/2004 3:32:35 PM PST by SaveTheChief
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To: SaveTheChief
Your post number reflects the sign of the Beast.

Just thought I'd toss that in there.

Now, back to the discussion....
667 posted on 01/08/2004 3:36:47 PM PST by JusPasenThru (Reasoning with a man is futile when his opinions were not reached by reason in the first place.)
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To: SaveTheChief
Damned if you do or damned if you don't?

Almost! (see also: #574 :)

Too much expensive gifting is a warning sign to the sadder-but-wiser girl. (Some perfectly-happy-but-also-wise girls get warned by their mothers, or are simply bright enough to be careful.)

Will a woman get tired of the same old one hundred dollar flowers and eventually start analyzing and questioning in the same manner I described? Well, she might like the flowers well enough, but she might start wondering about WHAT THEY MEAN.

If all you ever do for her is give her flowers, its going to MEAN something... :)

If they become a pattern... she will do what women do, and overlay the pattern on the context... and she will put her mind to the task.

You will come out ahead if the context is of a smooth-sailing relationship, where gift giving hasn't gotten stale, and where the flowers haven't come to form a strong association with something negative, e.g., become a form of apology for some misdeed, or reflective of guilt feelings for something one should feel guilty about.

She will think such flowers are a poor substitute for
being a good boyfriend/husband, and that perhaps you are trying to get one over on her...


Ask my advice? Vary the pace; buy her a little something and it will generally be received with glee. If you buy her a "little something" of the same thing (and never the best) all the time, and she won't like it as much.

Buy her the best too soon and too often, and she will get suspicious.

Buy her the best only when you do wrong, and she will come to hate it.

Don't give at a pace that can't realistically be kept up (e.g., a rose every time you meet) - it will be crushing the first time you come empty-handed ('cause that will MEAN something.)


A little posey now and then, peppered with a luxurious SOMETHING now and then... now that would suit most women well.

That would MEAN you are always thinking of her, and that you think she's worth some work once in a while. :)



673 posted on 01/08/2004 4:46:43 PM PST by SarahW
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