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I am what you might call a 100% male and often respond in kind. For example, significant other does not want to have sex, I knee jerk assume its something about me - looks, whatever, but at the end of the day it is usually something so friviouls not even dealing with me. Anyway, hormonally, it is of no consolation to me that the hair dresser made a stupid remark that was dumb and resulted in a slight. Additionally, being frustrated at that point, I am not in the mood to hear about why I need to be sensitive to this sort of thing while I myself am already frustrated. See where I am with this??? Then I am accussed of not being sensitive.

I knee jerk assume its something about me

And I think most women wouldn't realize this at the time. We sometimes forget how 'fragile male egos are', but in all honesty, when *we* get rebuffed, we magnify it as well.

I am what you might call a 100% male

I think my left big toe is female.

HOW TO GET INTIMACY FROM A RELUCTANT WIFE: 101

Do these things throughout the day;

1. Hug her from behind while she's doing dishes.
2. Be in a good mood. Be funny.
3. When she walks into the room, look mildly surprised, then growl and grin. (Be subtle. Let her know you want her.)
4. Let her know that you find skinny women repulsive.
(unless she's skinny) Salvalate over women who have the feature she hates most about herself. (Use sparingly.)
5. Be playful.
6. If she still doesn't want to, say, "That's OK. Let's cuddle on the couch and watch a movie." Make the moves you made in college. (BE SUBTLE.) Remember, closeness = pheromones.

If you do not get any play that night, don't worry. The seed has been planted and she will come around. Unless she has a physical problem.

If she has a physical problem (pain during intercourse) suggest other ways to pleasure each other. BE AFFECTIONATE. Falling asleep in 2.4 seconds will not make her feel loved. And rest assured, gentlemen, women need to feel loved. Remember your manners; ladies first.

Women do NOT want to have sex if they are stressed out. Or if their partner is stressed. (Then they feel like they're being used for a release. Wives hate to feel like street walkers... most of the time. ;-)

WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MAN THEY DO NOT LIKE OR TRUST. Does she see you blow up and throw wrenches frequently? Are you criticizing her without realizing it? Are you a grumpy b*stard? Does foreplay for you mean saying, "wanna do it?"

I know you don't understand this, you don't have to. Just accept it. Foreplay for women begins hours before the lights go out. It's called a "mood". If you want it, you'll get her in it.

If we can make you want to give us what we want, you are perfectly capable of doing the same.

UNDERSTANDABLE.

BUT

you COULD

focus on active listening skills as a sacrificial gift of love to your beloved.

You COULD lay aside your frustrations and horniness long enough to TUNE IN and insure that she knows you are TUNED IN.

After all, you want her to TUNE IN TO 'OSCAR!' Tune in to where she is first. Not too much to ask a man who's supposed to love his spouse as Christ loved the Church--to the point of laying down his life for her.