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Oh, please. My wife harasses me incessantly.

I'm happy for you.

But I have never met a man who had that problem anywhere but on the internet. Every wife I have ever spoken with face to face has said the same thing: "He wants sex too much and too often." They don't say he is bad at it. They insist they enjoy it. Just not as often as her husband. Ask them how often they have sex and it is usually once or twice a month and then only because her husband badgers her into it. Ask her when the last time she actually initiated sex and you find that it is usually at six month intervals and then only for some reason other than the sex itself.

Every husband I have spoken with face to face not only wants sex more often, but would like to believe that she has any sexual desire for him at all and sees no evidence of it. I will say this in all honesty: Of all the parents, brothers, sisters, friends, coworkers and general acquaintances where this subject has come up in a face to face conversation, I have never heard any variance from this exact situation.

Your post is dead on. I started a calender this year to document how many times my wife will initiate sex. She initiaited only one time last year. BTW, no amount of catering will increase my odds. I help with the kids homework, bath them, clean up the house, and put the kids to bed. She is still "tired." After 10 years of marriage, I have learned not to humiliate myself and beg.

I do a lot of things I don't necessarily like because I love my wife.

I have never understood why women don't understand why sex is so important to men, and then once a month get moody involuntarily due to a natural hormonal process. They don't see the connection - that we are wired like that, and in so being, should engineer their lives accordingly.

They may even enjoy doing it more often if they only would.

There is nothing better than seeing someone you love have an orgasm. Nothing is more arousing.

For women, if you weren't interested in sex for your own interest, why couldn't they take an interest for purely altruistic reasons?

Whatever.

I do think men fail in this respect . . . overwhelmingly . . .

They can communicate verbally so wonderously while courting, seducing the focus of their admirations.

Get them married and it's like they forget their native tongue. Verbal communications are reduced to grunts and unhunh's. Attentive affirmations and affections--devoted inquiries and frequent admirations toward their spouse become rare to nonexistent--routinely.

Then they want the woman to be instantly hot to trot. Women aren't wired that way. They need wound up 24 hours a day with EMOTIONAL INTIMACY AND ATTENTION IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

Every wife I have ever spoken with face to face has said the same thing: "He wants sex too much and too often." They don't say he is bad at it. They insist they enjoy it. Just not as often as her husband. Ask them how often they have sex and it is usually once or twice a month and then only because her husband badgers her into it. Ask her when the last time she actually initiated sex and you find that it is usually at six month intervals and then only for some reason other than the sex itself.

My point is not to brag (as if I had any idea of the cause!) but to say that there are MANY exceptions to this pattern. The simple fact is that my wife INITIATES constantly. If you were actually doing a research project I would put you in touch with her.

But if you filter out all the contradictory data points you hear about (oh, that's just "internet fiction") then you will always just fulfill your own prophecies.

I'm sure there are many relationships which could be posted on this thread alone which deviate from your experience.

Every husband I have spoken with face to face not only wants sex more often, but would like to believe that she has any sexual desire for him at all and sees no evidence of it.

My husband 'went elsewhere' and this is one of the reasons he gave me. I can understand to a point...the thing is that for five years before he did it I had changed. I had tried being the 'biblical wife' I was supposed to be. He says I had done too much damage in the 10 years before that.

He says he's changed now, too. He says he now sees the love that I was offering. But I seem to be back where I was before my change.

Thing is, he did his deed in such a cold manner, I find it very difficult to let go, and I've yet to see the change he claims to have under gone.

Don't know why I'm posting this other than that I am on this thread looking for answers. Sorry your post happened to be the one I decided to vent to. ; * )