Kids thrive on discipline

Tucson Arizona Star ^ | 01/03/04 | Betsy Hart

[Woahhs]

Please forgive me. I'll have to continue later.

[netmilsmom]

Me too! Church time is coming up quick! And I have three people to get dressed.

[Cacique]

btt

[SandRat]

If children came with a manual, it would all be thoughtless. (but men still wouldn't read it!)

Maybe, ... maybe not, but the manual would still be in how many different languages? With each of the pages requiring a gas station map refolding expert to refold it. Even worse the manual would be written by the same person that writes all of those instructions for putting together all of the "Barbie Dream (you name the indebtedness object of the occasion)." or the G.I. JOE Combat (somethings)

[netmilsmom]

>>Maybe, ... maybe not, but the manual would still be in how many different languages? With each of the pages requiring a gas station map refolding expert to refold it. Even worse the manual would be written by the same person that writes all of those instructions for putting together all of the "Barbie Dream (you name the indebtedness object of the occasion)." or the G.I. JOE Combat (somethings)


LOLOLOL!!! Oh you are sooooo right!
The only blessing is that you would have 9 months to read it.

[Salvation]

To read later.

[Wombat101]

No sh*t! I guess 1 million years of human parenting expertise was just proven right! Where do we GET these people?

[SandRat]

Read? It would take that long just figure out how to refold the first page.

That's why by the third child you have it all down and get it right from the start. Practice, practice, practice.

A Dad's view.

[Gabz]

I lose it when they do something funny.

So do I - and hubby is even worse when it comes to keeping a straight face!!!

[Gabz]

Mombrain!

LOL!!! I like that!

My ittle angel decided ice cream was a great idea for a snack this morning - she proceeded to get it herself after I had dozed back off while we were reading in my bed.

What could I say to her?!!!!

[Pan_Yans Wife]

"Pick up the child and hit the mother with him."

ROTFL! I love the imagery.

(Happy New Year.)

[Gabz]

They need lots of love and lots of discipline. None of them are easy but the rewards are unimaginable.

That about sums it up!!!!

[Pan_Yans Wife]

My mother always said, "Emotions are never right or wrong, they just are."

I agree with her, but she also reinforced acting responsibly.

Just because my three year old wants to hit her six year old brother, doesn't mean she should, or that I would allow her to do so. But the feeling of frustration or anger, is understandable. She just needs to learn a new way of expressing these feelings.

[netmilsmom]

>>What could I say to her?!!!!<<

Well, after I fell off the bed laughing, I would say, eggs, milk = breakfast. The deed was done.
It could have been a Snickers Bar.
And I also would have asked, "Where is my spoon?"

[netmilsmom]

>>A Dad's view.<<

And IMHO, Dads are equally as important as Moms.

[netmilsmom]

>>I agree with her, but she also reinforced acting responsibly. <<

Both of you are great moms!
Happy New Year to you and yours too! I lost a diamond stud earring for the New Year somewhere between Cleveland and home. I'm hoping this is not a sign.

[utahagen]

My sister and brother-in-law were in a bind when they had kids because both believe that kids should be raised in a no-nonsense, disciplined manner, but neither believed in spanking. I can't believe it, but they have pulled off what I would have thought impossible: using "time-outs" but no spankings, thay have (so far) raised a six year old boy and a four year old girl who are very well behaved. I think there are reasons even conservatives like us freepers may has misgivings about corporal punishment, and I recommend parents look into the "time out" method. My sister and her husband employ it and their kids are not spoiled at all.

[Gabz]

LOL!!!

Daddy had fixed her pancakes before he left for work - so she actually did have breakfast!!!

There are no snickers bars in this house - I don't like them......but if she had gotten into my milkway's - that's a whole other can of beans!!!

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Hoping you find your earring. I know that has to be heartbreaking.

And no, I don't believe this is a sign about how your year will progress!

[Woahhs]

Parents seem to either go too far or not far enough anymore.

I'm sure your girls are positively delightful. No one is questioning your affection or concern for them. (BTW we picked up Shaw's book this a.m. on the strength of this thread)

That being said, idle statements like the one above would lead one to conclude you're very comfortable casting yourself in the role of Goldilocks; and that's just not where a parent with a tantrum throwing child belongs.

I also have to disagree with you on the "manual." And men do read it, but it's not in one volume, and it's certainly not a baby book. It is the literature of Western Civilization. Literature that produced men we can scarcely identify with anymore. We have been so preoccupied proving we superceded our forbears, we don't even understand what it is that made them great. That's one reason I love C.S. Lewis.... Screwtape Letters, God in the Dock anthology (which contains the previously mentioned First Things), The Great Divorce, etc. are all studies in how we convince ourselves to do that which we want, rather than that which we should. Furthermore, as Tammy Bruce recently said in "the death of right and wrong," Lewis does not try to convince: he demonstrates.

I will. Do you think I can get a copy from the local library?

If you can't, the local librarian should be jailed for malfeasance and dereliction of duty ;o) (God in the Dock is my favorite, though my wife like the simplicity of Screwtape Letters. Englishmen take a bit of effort for Americans.)

I have to go on my experience from my own childhood where I was told constantly, to stop being angry or there is no need to be afraid. I help my girls define the emotion (I know you are angry but you are not allowed to act this way or I know you are scared of the dark but if you close your eyes you see nothing and there is nothing in the dark that is not in the light) then teach them what is an appropriate reaction to that emotion.

No doubt you do, but if I take your verbage at face value, I'd have to conclude you were constantly carping about those two things. And just the two points you mention in the above sentence, frustration and fear, speak more toward your resentment over their not being properly appreciated by your parents, rather than any developmental burden suffered by you. You may not have liked it, but that doesn't make it wrong.

If the kid comes down on Christmas morning and starts crying because the new bike is the wrong color...that emotion is a punishable offense! "Why" will be explained in excruciating detail for an extended period of time, but it will be punished swiftly and severely.

Note, I am not saying the grief and upset experienced by the child is anything but genuine. I'm not questioning the identitiy of the emotion, I'm questioning it's pedigree. If it's not legitimate, it's not relevant.

And before we get on the "who are you to say" merry-go-round, know that I can just as easily, and with no hesitation, ask "who are you to say I can't?"

I contend a proper understanding of Western Civilization will make the moment by moment decisions of child-rearing as reflexive as typing to a typist, and evoke the bitterest of criticism from the "hunt and peck" crowd.