U.S. Department of Transportation: Santa Gets Cleared For Christmas Flight;

releases.usnewswire.com ^

[chance33_98]

U.S. Department of Transportation: Santa Gets Cleared For Christmas Flight; Photo Available

12/19/03 11:54:00 AM

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To: National Desk, Photo Editor

Contact: Bill Mosley of the U.S. Department of Transportation, 202-366-5571; web: http://www.dot.gov/affairs/briefing.htm

WASHINGTON, Dec. 19 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Kris Kringle, d.b.a. Santa Claus, got the green light today from the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) to engage in air travel to various points throughout the United States the night of Dec. 24-25.

An order granting a flight certificate and signed by U.S. Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta finds that Santa Claus is "exceptionally fit, joyfully willing and uniquely able to engage in the interstate air transportation for which he has requested a certificate." The Secretary added that Santa has a 100 percent on-time arrival record, having never failed to deliver all of his toys by Christmas morning.

Santa also disclosed that he has had some help with the arduous task of delivering packages. He notes that for the better part of the last century he has been greatly assisted by the results of the wonderful invention of the Wright Brothers, who 100 years ago put together a flying machine, now refined and operating with capabilities almost as good as Rudolf.

In his application, Santa Claus described himself as a citizen of the world residing at the North Pole who performs a vital and specialized transportation service. "The points to be served are the dwelling places of good girls and boys, as well as adults of goodwill, throughout the United States and worldwide," Claus said in his application.

He also told the department that his sleigh will be powered by eight tiny reindeer, with the addition of a possible ninth reindeer equipped with a special air navigation warning light in its nose, in the event of fog or heavy snow.

Finally, the applicant, aware of the department's heightened security concerns, said that although he does not have a federal air marshal on board he has asked his lead reindeer, Rudolph, to stay especially alert.

The department said that no one has opposed the application, and the applicant has disclosed several million letters of support from children everywhere. "In these circumstances, it appears that a grant of the applicant's request is in the highest public interest," Secretary Mineta said.

PHOTO EDITORS: High resolution, publication-ready photo supporting this story available for FREE editorial use at: http://www.wirepix.com/newsphotos/USN

[jsbankston]

It would seem to me the the Department of Transportation would have better things to do over the Holidays.

[LiteKeeper]

SPOTREP

[hang 'em]

They gonna check his bags for nail clippers?

[mewzilla]

Grinch :)

[jsbankston]

As long as OBL's Boys do not hijack Santa's sleigh and crash it into a Toys R. Us I will be happy.

[mewzilla]

Hey, Santa Claus conquered the Martians. Think what he'd do to UBL.

[azhenfud]

Did Clause pass the scrutiny of the TSA with his fake ID? Tom Ridge would be appalled at the security breach.

Baaah Humbug!

[SamAdams76]

Are they sure they are making the right decision? I mean, how do we know that Santa's sleigh won't get hijacked by a couple of Al Qaida crazies. That would give the terrorists access to every home in America. I'm cinderblocking my chimney.

[talleyman]

I just hope he doesn't get bitten by a moose...

[mewzilla]

No need to stop it up. Just put some SPAM on the roof.

[ErnBatavia]

You're safe....somebody will make him take off his boots for inspection.

[conserv13]

You can also go to the NORAD website where they track Santa as he moves across Noth America. I am serious. www.noradsanta.org

[jsbankston]

Santa Claus will cross the American border on 12/24/03 and Tom Ridge will bust him for an immigration violation but then grant him U.S. Citizenship just like he wants to do with all the other illegals.

[G.Mason]

My grandkids will be happy to get this via e-mail.

There's something special about little kids.

[jtminton]

"Santa Claus wears a red suit, he's a Communist. He has long hair and a beard, he's a pacifist. . ."

[GreenLanternCorps]

Not a problem, Rudolph and Santa are covered under the provisions for cargo pilots to carry concealed...

[GreenLanternCorps]

"Hey, Santa Claus conquered the Martians. Think what he'd do to UBL."

Hey, you forgot the opening scenes of "Scrooged" Where terrorist attack the North Pole. The image of Mrs. Claus passing out M-16s to the elves is priceless!

Santa, holding an M-16, to Lee Majors: "This is one Jolly Old Elf who's going out the front door!"

[GreenLanternCorps]

A moose once bit my sister...

[mewzilla]

LOL. I had! Thanks for the giggle :)