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Fatherless
Washington Times | 12/19/95 | Stuart Miller and Rich Zubaty

Posted on 10/29/2003 10:27:05 AM PST by Delphinium

85% of prisoners, 78% of high school dropouts, 82% of teenage girls who become pregnant, the majority of drug and alcohol abusers - all come from single-mother-headed households. Less than 1% of any of these categories come from single-father-headed households. This seems to indicate that the problems children encounter are not related to single-parent households, but are related specifically to single-mother-headed households. So, should we blame the mothers or the fathers? Perhaps, neither. There is no question that father-absence has reached epidemic proportions. According to Wade Horn of the National Fatherhood Initiative, we must reverse the trend in 7 - 8 years or it will be too late to do so.

And, how has our government responded to this crisis? By continuing to drive fathers out of the family. It is bad enough that some fathers abandon their families, but it is unconscionable that our federal and state policies drive fathers away from their families. With 80+ percent of divorces involving children resulting in sole-mother-custody, combined with a "no man in the house rule" and "presumptive sole-mother-custody" in welfare cases - we are not blameless from a policy perspective. We must change our policies, practices and procedures to specifically include fathers in families. If not, we can be certain that social spending will continue to increase and we will be plagued with an ever burgeoning population of maladjusted children who will fill our prisons and wreak havoc on society.

Social research data reveal that our blind reliance only on the nurturing value of mothers is inadequate and misplaced. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, a child living with his/her divorced mother, compared to a child living with both parents, is "375% more likely to need professional treatment for emotional or behavioral problems and is almost twice as likely to repeat a grade of school, is more likely to suffer chronic asthma, frequent headaches, and/or bedwetting, develop a stammer or speech defect, suffer from anxiety or depression, and be diagnosed as hyperactive."

However, these afflictions were surprisingly uncommon in the 15% of single-parent households headed by men. A study of all state child protective services agencies in the country - by the Children's Rights Coalition, a child advocacy and research organization in Austin, Texas - found that biological mothers physically abuse their children at twice the rate of biological fathers. The majority of the rest of the time, children are abused because of single-mothers' poor choices in the subsequent men in their lives. Incidences of abuse were almost non-existent in single-father-headed households.

The data show that placing children only with mothers is likely to be detrimental to children and society, so why do we continue public policies favoring sole-mother-placement? Have we become so paternalistic toward women that it anesthetizes our common sense?

Surprisingly few people realize that, until the end of WW I, U.S. laws and courts automatically placed the children of divorce not with their mothers, but with their fathers. For thousands of years societal conventions instructed the placement of children with their fathers in most cultures all over the globe. Why? Because it works. It puts children with their strongest protectors and it puts boys with their traditional guides to civilized manhood. Yet, these essential fatherhood roles - protector and civilizer - seem to have been forgotten, today.

Never before have fathers been cast aside as they have been in the United States during the last 30 - 40 years. Never before has such a strong society become as threatened as we are, for this solitary reason. Regrettably, as long as we continue to hold to the relatively new idea that only mothers are capable of being parents, and ignore the essential role of fathers, our children will remain at risk.

The single-mother-headed-household must go the way of the slum high-rise dwelling. Both are human disaster zones. Both are exalted attempts at social engineering that ignore God's blueprint for human society.

What is needed? Our Father in heaven and our fathers here on earth - as well as a society that values them, includes them, and encourages their involvement in their families.

Stuart Miller and Rich Zubaty are Political Analysts with the American Fathers Coalition in Washington, D.C.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: divorce; fatherhood; fatherless
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1 posted on 10/29/2003 10:27:05 AM PST by Delphinium
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To: Delphinium
Who'll be the first to deliver this news to the man-hating harpies at NOW?
2 posted on 10/29/2003 10:29:30 AM PST by pabianice
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To: Delphinium
wow, that's an old article, but comforting to me.
3 posted on 10/29/2003 10:30:47 AM PST by CJ Wolf (Single Dad)
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To: Delphinium
Yep. I also don't believe in divorce either. Unless people don't have kids.
4 posted on 10/29/2003 10:33:16 AM PST by I_Love_My_Husband
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To: pabianice
Yes, the man-haters and other feminazi groups have really poured out their venom to the detriment of children and families...Why do you think most people admire Bush and Swartzenager? They are manly men who stand up for their beliefs - I sincerely hope we get a huge surge for more manliness in our younger men growing up!
5 posted on 10/29/2003 10:33:47 AM PST by princess leah
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To: RogerFGay
Maybe you have seen this but I thought it was worth posting.

So very important to consider before divorce, or making decisions to move away from your children.
6 posted on 10/29/2003 10:34:52 AM PST by Delphinium
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To: pabianice
Who'll be the first to deliver this news to the man-hating harpies at NOW?

With pleasure.
7 posted on 10/29/2003 10:35:57 AM PST by RiflemanSharpe (An American for a more socially and fiscally conservation America!)
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To: Delphinium
Awesome stuff...I love it!
8 posted on 10/29/2003 10:36:00 AM PST by ItsOurTimeNow ("Forth now, and fear no darkness!")
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Bump for later
9 posted on 10/29/2003 10:36:56 AM PST by LouD
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To: Delphinium
Yet, these essential fatherhood roles - protector and civilizer - seem to have been forgotten, today.

Not so much forgotten as villainized. Characterized as abusive and oppresive, and doing more harm than good.

10 posted on 10/29/2003 10:39:09 AM PST by Snuffington
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To: Delphinium
INTREP - SOCIOLOGY - FAMILY - PARENTS - FATHERS
11 posted on 10/29/2003 10:43:18 AM PST by LiteKeeper
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To: CJ Wolf
I have had that article for a long time. I always give it to people considering divorce.

If I have learned anything raising 3 sons, 2 without their real dad is how important fathers are to children.

Stepfathers can be great but they can't take the place of real fathers.
12 posted on 10/29/2003 10:43:21 AM PST by Delphinium
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To: Delphinium
There is another aspect here. The ultra-left wing, neocommunists, over the past 30 years have been able to change the concept of single-momism from a strong negative to something that is desireable.

Watching day time TV on occassion, Oprah or something Oprah-like, you see some fatish, plain woman introduced as a "single mom" and the audience applauds like she had really accomplished something.

Talk to women, especially in something like an employment screening context, and many will cite single momism as a credential much like a normal person would cite a master's degree or six years in the Marine Corps.

Single momism is recognition of failure; you either were too dumb not to get knocked up or you were too fat/stupid to hold on the the male who knocked you up. Just another one of those areas where the lefties have taught that we must be non-judgmental and society has suffered for it.

13 posted on 10/29/2003 10:47:48 AM PST by Tacis
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To: Pan_Yan
ping
14 posted on 10/29/2003 10:49:49 AM PST by Pan_Yans Wife (You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.)
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To: Delphinium
This seems to indicate that the problems children encounter are not related to single-parent households, but are related specifically to single-mother-headed households.

BLASPHEMER! Git a rope! (humorous sarcasm off)

15 posted on 10/29/2003 10:58:56 AM PST by Blood of Tyrants (Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn’t be, in its eyes, a slave.)
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To: Tacis
Hmmm. So I guess my husband's mother was too stupid/fat to hold on to the man that beat the crap out of her, and knocked up some other woman while married to dh's mother. Funny thing is, dh has always said that the reason why he is a great father now is because he didn't have his father around while he was growing up.
16 posted on 10/29/2003 11:02:45 AM PST by Aggie Mama
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To: Delphinium
The statistics are hugely skewed by the fact that the overwhelming majority of single mothers became so while young, poor, and often by accident. So the statistics have no bearing whatsoever on the prospects for children of mature, financially secure, single mothers by choice. And single fathers are a pretty rare occurrence, almost never starting out that way, so the effects of divorce are mixed in with the effects of being raised by a single father.

Soon there will be enough self-supporting single mothers by choice to do proper studies on the outcomes for their children, and there's no reason to think the outcomes will look anything like those for children of careless and naive teenagers, and 2nd-3rd generation welfare addicts, who form the vast majority of single mothers.
17 posted on 10/29/2003 11:12:53 AM PST by GovernmentShrinker
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To: Delphinium
The answer is to instige the legal mechanism of rebuttal presumptive joint physical custody (of children, inside and outside of marriage).

The issue that is not dicusses is that every child deservest the care and support of both parents who co-created him. Until we get stop talking aobut parental rights, and start to discuss instead parental OBLIGATIONS to their offspring, we will never get where we supposedly want to go for the benefit of children.

The issue is children's rights, not parent's rights.
18 posted on 10/29/2003 11:19:52 AM PST by Lorianne
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To: Tacis
For every "single mom" there is an "absent dad". Since fatherlessness is identified as a problem for kids (article) then it is the abscence of the dads, rather than the presence of the mom, which is the "problem".

We are blaming the parent who is present and accounted for instead of the parent who is a.w.o.l.
19 posted on 10/29/2003 11:23:23 AM PST by Lorianne
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To: Lorianne
In many cases you're right. But for the many single moms who got pregnant with a guy they knew full well had no intention of sticking around (or who were sleeping with so many that they don't even know who the father was), I have no problem blaming the moms.
20 posted on 10/29/2003 11:28:09 AM PST by GovernmentShrinker
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