[DeFault User]

Is this a trend yet?

[Billthedrill]

Nggo, itth thertainly itthhhh gnoott!!

[grobdriver]

Oooo... his girlfriend is going to hate that!
You cut off what and what?!?

[kinghorse]

Perfect Darwinian concoction. Stupid enough to try it, no chance of reproducing your ilk. I like it!

[wideawake]

This kind of thing wouldn't happen if hallucinogenics like angels' trumpets were legal! Oh wait, they are . . .

[dead]

Germans are always cutting off their penises.

[SeeRushToldU_So]

No longer date material.

[rockrr]

Apparently young Andreas got into an argument with himself over which appendage was getting him into greater grief.
The outcome of the argument was a clean split......

[KantianBurke]

Why are you posting a story about Hitlery's childhood? :>

[Old Professer]

There was a young strumpet
Who was hung up on trumpets
She bent on one knee
The better to see
Her delirious tea
When then from the grass
Sprang a mischievious ass
Who snatched up her cup and proceeded to lump it

[auboy]

The emergency doctor who arrived a few minutes later said the student had cut off his penis and his tongue with garden shears and it was impossible to reattach the organs.

I just hate it when I get gardening and surgery confused. Note to self: no tea allowed in the garden.

"I can't have sex and I can't tell you why.":-)

[HamiltonJay]

What? You mean drugs AREN'T HARMLESS????? No... That just can't be...... The libertarians told me so.

[Old Professer]

Hey, that's better than:

Who cupped up her snatch and proceeded to hump it!

[Treebeard]

That'll teach him to go off half cocked...

[FeliciaCat]

Oh those NUTTY Germans......what will they think of next?

[Petronski]

Just....dayum!

[dfwgator]

Detachable Penis

King Missile

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of
the time. I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a
party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember
what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find
it, so I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason, I leave
it there sometimes, but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let
me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help
either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without
my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man and I really
hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of
searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting
to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and at breakfast. Then as I
walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,where all those people
sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a
blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to
buy it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it
home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't
know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a
detachable penis.

[Pukin Dog]

Andreas' girlfriend was just spotted applying for a new credit card at The German Adult Toys Boutique.

[Slicksadick]

Sounds like the Datura Stramonium we used to dabble with in high school.

[bobjam]

"How can angel trumpet plants be bad for us...they're natural." Isn't that the same arguement made by overgrown hippies trying to legalize pot (which, by the way, is also hallucinagenic).

[mfulstone]

angels' trumpet = Datura = Jimson Weed

Every part of the plant is nasty. The active principles may show up in various strengths from plant to plant and leaf to leaf. It would be like playing Russian roulette.