[Big Guy and Rusty 99]

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
- - - Walter Matthau (to Barbra Streisand)

A cross between an aardvark and an albino rat.
- - - John Simon (about Barbra Streisand)

[irishtenor]

Your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
You're two quarts low on the dipstick of life.
Your family tree doesn't have any branches.
You are a 40 watt bulb in a 100 watt lamp.
You think a cell phone is what they have in jails.

[dirtydanusa]

You're so fat, the elephant at the zoo threw you peanuts...