A 'Marriage Strike' Emerges As Men Decide Not To Risk Loss

The Philadelphia Inquirer ^ | July 5, 2002 | Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson

[Jhoffa_]

And nobody has even mentioned the men falsely accused of sexual harassment for crossing a female co-worker.

LOL! That's worthy of it's own thread.

Type two, or "hostile workplace" harassment can be ANYTHING.

Literally anything the person perceives as "Harassment"

(He stared at my butt and created a "hostile workplace" He made fun of my shoes and created a "hostile workplace" He said feminists are dimwits and created a "hostile workplace" Waah! Waah!)

Truly, as a manager I discriminated in my hiring practices after a stupid complaint over "harassment" by a female who couldn't manage to show up on time. Asking her to do so or go work somewhere else was evidence of a "vendetta" and "harassment"

But, the timeclock was on my side. She got the boot and I got a raise.

[Jhoffa_]

Smarmy and tiny-minded persons such as myself have nothing useful to say, after all.

At last we agree.

[independentmind]

I never said there was a lot of sex-and-bikini talk on this thread. What I did say is that there's a lot of it on FR. You think the two subjects are totally unrelated?

[buccaneer81]

I do think that considering the high emotions that can be generated by discussing a topic such as this, the discourse has remained at a (shockingly) high level of civility.

[independentmind]

Allow me to compliment you on being a jerk. What a prize you must be!

[Jhoffa_]

You think the two subjects are totally unrelated?

Yes.

Physical attraction is the reason a man and woman marry and become one flesh.

If you wish to do away with this attraction you will have to talk to God and make your pathetic little case to him.

[Nowhere Man]

Then do him a favor and stop holding back. I honestly wish that the troops I worked with and the folks around me had been more vocal than they were.

I think you're right. I remember telling him "are you sure you're doing the right thing? I mean, she's been married twice, had kid #3 to a third guy (while still married, i.e. technically cheating of course), lacks drive, and so on. Her past doesn't look too good." Even his boss where he works have been telling him this but it doesn't register. Same with his mother, she complains that "all she does is sleep and sit's on her 'butt' (can't say the real word here) all day." She even can't hold a conversation well. Hopefully he'll wake up, he can do a lot better and find some nice girl.

Oh Vey. Getting back to the general subject, there is a side of me that wonder if things were better in the days of courting and/or "arranged marriages," at least the two parties would spend some time together, usually chaperoned, with the expectation of (hopefully) growing on and then loving each other. I know it isn't perfect, but sometimes I think it is much better than the circus we have today and the past 30 years or so. Well, comment, criticize, flame, etc. nicely. B-)

[Jhoffa_]

Allow me to compliment you on being a jerk. What a prize you must be!

Now look who's "whining"

[Jeff Gordon]

These are not reasons for not getting married. These are excuses for not getting married.

[buccaneer81]

lacks drive

Not lacking in all drives apparently ;-)

[buccaneer81]

I think you should have read this before Brooke got her hooks into you. ;-)

[wingnuts'nbolts]

One of the secrets to a happy marriage is luck. Another is being best friends. Another is having a good fight ever now and then, you have to care to fight, and then forget it. Sex is always important, but after a year or so, not the most important part of marriage. Companionship, friendshp and being loved and loving back is.

It is the little things that count, and the little things that loom large when things begin to sour. When you care about someone else at least as much as you care about yourself the relationshp is bound to flourish.

[buccaneer81]

But seriously, they are reasons. The woman has the law standing behind her all the time. That, as Nick Danger so eloquently stated, is the equivalent of having a nuke beside the bed.

[Nowhere Man]

Not lacking in all drives apparently ;-)

You got that right! B-) If you look at her though, you often wonder. I showed one of my online friends in Sweden a pic of her and the CD-R he was burning bombed out and was destroyed. I might send him a pack of CD-R's to attone for that, I feel so bad. B-)

[independentmind]

Thanks for your wonderful comments. They warm this smarmy girl's heart.

[philomath]

You think the two subjects are totally unrelated?

i was pointing out the serious nature of some of the posters' dilemmas and life stories: unless you have been through or close to someone who has been through the legal meat grinder, the thread sounds like an ed gein reunion. this subject hurts so much precisely because of the twisting of love into greed and the intrusion of the state into what was a religious matter. if the guys here hadn't had higher hopes, they wouldn't be hashing this out and trying to make it better. it's bad enough when your dreams crumble, but to have the courts sifting through remains is unconscionable.
this is quite beyond t&a.....

[Melas]

I am glad you mentioned that.. Because IMNSHO I think these images of marriage in the media give people false expectations.. They focus on people who are continually happy and live their lives 5 minutes at a time.

Consequently, I think many people who do not respect the Covenant of marriage as God defines it are left with unrealistic hopes and misconceived notions of what marriage is in reality.

In short: They set themselves up to be continually dissapointed by using the media as a measure of what should constitute a "marriage" This dissapointment leads to marital failure.

Here is where we have to disagree. I'm an agnostic on a good day, and after celebrating our 11th anniversery the 29th of last month, we're working on 12 years of marriage.

[meyer]

And nobody has even mentioned the men falsely accused of sexual harassment for crossing a female co-worker.

That needs its own thread. This one's full already.

[Jhoffa_]

Here is where we have to disagree. I'm an agnostic on a good day..

Okay, well regardless I hope we can agree about the unrealistic expectations people may have when measuring marriage in reality against what is portrayed in the media. (and when you start talking about single parent homes you toss out another standard right there..)

PS: Congratulations on your marriage. May it last till death do you part.