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Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner
The Bee ^ | Sep 1, 2026 | The Bee

Posted on 09/02/2026 1:06:08 PM PDT by dayglored

U.S. — New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presidential nominee.

Clancy garnered overwhelming support from Democratic women and continued to make gains among men who hate children and wish they were dead.

"Clancy 2028! Wooo!" shouted supporters outside the courthouse where Clancy was awaiting the verdict on her triple homicide case. "No one gets us better than Lindsay. Who better to fight for women's rights than a woman who stared down the system that wanted to punish her for murdering three children? She is like, so me! We love you, Lindsay!"

Democratic operatives warned that the issue of child murder could complicate Clancy's general election chances, but liberal voters have thus far brushed aside those concerns. "When I hear this sad story of a child being strangled to death, I think, 'Wow, that poor woman strangling her child. She's the victim here,'" explained longtime Democrat Stacy Marks. "Why on earth should someone not vote for Lindsay when she is the one who has been wronged here? That shouldn't keep a beautiful soul like her from serving as our next president."

At publishing time, Clancy's support among liberals had collapsed after revelations surfaced that she had also strangled a puppy.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; democrats; lindsayclancy; satirs

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Brutal satire. And unfortunately, the final line is all too appropriate. Killing kids: good. Killing puppies: terrible!
1 posted on 09/02/2026 1:06:08 PM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

Dont give them any ideas. Women would come out in droves to vote for her, they see themselves in her, they see the abortion they had and think to themselves “ so whats the big deal, she killed her kids, no different than a late late late term abortion”


2 posted on 09/02/2026 1:07:25 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: dayglored
Classic!

If she picks Caramello Anthony as her running mate, she's a shoo-in.

3 posted on 09/02/2026 1:09:15 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. )
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To: dayglored

That pic....I see the crazy eyes staring back at me.


4 posted on 09/02/2026 1:12:45 PM PDT by xp38
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To: Texas Eagle

Or Luigi Mangione.


5 posted on 09/02/2026 1:13:41 PM PDT by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")
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To: dayglored

I wish the Bee would drop these news articles and get back to doing satire. /s


6 posted on 09/02/2026 1:16:39 PM PDT by chickenlips (Neuter your politicians )
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To: xp38
> That pic....I see the crazy eyes staring back at me.

The Hot/Crazy Matrix might need an extension on the Crazy axis and a larger "Danger Zone". <> It's not much of a stretch to see her leaning over you in bed with a kitchen knife in her hand.

7 posted on 09/02/2026 1:17:11 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dfwgator

Touchè.


8 posted on 09/02/2026 1:21:53 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. )
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To: dayglored

9 posted on 09/02/2026 1:26:24 PM PDT by PROCON (Sic Semper Tyrannis)
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To: dayglored

A longtime friend of mine for over ten years is all into this trial and writes me saying she believes the husband, Patrick, murdered the children along with his girlfriend.

I thought what a weird thing to say. I look it up and find this is a current conspiracy being spread about on TikTok. She does belong to TikTok.

I told her ‘I would think her defense team would jump on that instead they don’t deny she did it but are defending her with the postpartum thing. I’m sure if they believed he did it they’d be on that like a duck on a June bug’ Both the prosecutor and the defense lawyer agree he (the husband, Patrick) is innocent. You are being sold a bill of good with this stuff by those people over there on TikTok’.

I lean towards believing he is guilty it is just an opinion. You seem to think it is your God given right to correct me and dictate what I should believe while letting me know how intellectually superior you believe yourself to be. That belief is yours only. Bugger off.

I can agree to disagree. I can have a conversation with differing beliefs if there is mutual respect given. But I do not feel that friends treat the other like brainless idiots if their opinions are different . My bad for thinking we were friends’.

I am still stunned. What the heck is going on in this country with people just believing any crap on the net?


10 posted on 09/02/2026 1:27:04 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: dayglored

Had to write a correction:

A longtime friend of mine for over ten years is all into this trial and writes me saying she believes the husband, Patrick, murdered the children along with his girlfriend.

I thought what a weird thing to say. I look it up and find this is a current conspiracy being spread about on TikTok. She does belong to TikTok.

I told her ‘I would think her defense team would jump on that instead they don’t deny she did it but are defending her with the postpartum thing. I’m sure if they believed he did it they’d be on that like a duck on a June bug’ Both the prosecutor and the defense lawyer agree he (the husband, Patrick) is innocent. You are being sold a bill of good with this stuff by those people over there on TikTok’.

She wrote me back and says, “I lean towards believing he is guilty it is just an opinion. You seem to think it is your God given right to correct me and dictate what I should believe while letting me know how intellectually superior you believe yourself to be. That belief is yours only. Bugger off.

I can agree to disagree. I can have a conversation with differing beliefs if there is mutual respect given. But I do not feel that friends treat the other like brainless idiots if their opinions are different . My bad for thinking we were friends”.

I am still stunned. What the heck is going on in this country with people just believing any crap on the net?


11 posted on 09/02/2026 1:30:44 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: dayglored

She needs to have a clinical late term abortion and come out as gay to build up her resume a little more.


12 posted on 09/02/2026 1:31:39 PM PDT by Kid Shelleen (Beat your plowshares into swords. Let the weak say I am strong)
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To: Beowulf9

“this is a current conspiracy being spread about on TikTok”

A conservative podcaster was doing interviews on the street and when she asked Lindsay supporters where they got their news, they said, “TicToc”. Imagine if you will, being SO STUPID that you get news from China’s TicToc.


13 posted on 09/02/2026 1:31:45 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.)
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To: MayflowerMadam

It’s pathetic, I know.


14 posted on 09/02/2026 1:38:44 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: Texas Eagle

That’s how morally bankrupt the left is.


15 posted on 09/02/2026 1:39:01 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: MayflowerMadam

I don’t know how it is she could not see that but seems there is a great crowd out there doing so.


16 posted on 09/02/2026 1:42:17 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: No name given

👍


17 posted on 09/02/2026 1:46:15 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. )
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To: MayflowerMadam
> Imagine if you will, being SO STUPID that you get news from China’s TicToc.

We, and Truth/Reality, are SO far behind the curve, so far behind the 8-ball, it's hard to see how a turn-around and recovery is even possible. We're too far down the slippery slope; both feet and our azzes are already over the edge of the fall.

Total destruction and rebuild from scratch might work.

I am almost 75 and will not live to see America destroyed and rebuilt. I probably am doomed to ride the descent for a while and then check out. Hopefully it'll come back after I'm gone.

18 posted on 09/02/2026 1:48:48 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Ditto to all of that. I’m 78 and remain thankful that I lived in some of the best decades of America. I’m always grateful that I never had kids who would be in the thick of whatever is amping up for the country now.


19 posted on 09/02/2026 1:53:27 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.)
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To: dayglored; null and void; piytar; usconservative

20 posted on 09/02/2026 1:53:40 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Technology can industrialize evil.)
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