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Posted on 08/26/2026 3:06:33 AM PDT by Cronos
Driven by the decline of “third spaces” such as youth centres and pubs, an increase in remote working and rising loneliness – 40% of adults aged 16 to 29 feel lonely “always, often or some of the time”, – paid social events are now in vogue.
“There hasn’t been anything that feels authentic to helping people meet people,”
“The first place people in their 20s and 30s turn to when trying to make friends is Facebook groups, But they’ve ended up becoming a noticeboard for people who’ve, say, lost their dog or want to sell their bed.”
Into this gap has stepped a new wave of what are effectively paid social clubs.
The mechanics are fairly simple:match people using information such as their interests, lifestyle habits and profession. Then, typically, an algorithm decides which events a user should attend, as opposed to free alternatives, such as the Meetup platform, that leave that choice with members.
“When you do things for free, people often don’t turn up, People need someone who’s committed, who’s looking to maintain friendships and taking it seriously.”
Paying per event “encourages me to go if I’ve paid for it” while leaving her free to not attend those that aren’t of interest to her.
Johnson says that “what really surprised me was I got more than expected”. She highlights a recent brunch event that included things such as a take-home goodie bag. She has since signed up for a pottery event.
“Everyone’s there for the same, if not similar, reasons,” she adds, “which takes a lot of the fear out of meeting strangers.”
“People always say they want more community and more opportunities to meet others, but it’s easy to forget that organising those communities still takes time, work and money,” Giusi says.
(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...
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One could say religious groups - and that is true, but there are other events that Gen Z and younger don't even attend
It’s been reported that people, especially the younger ones, are drinking less so bars are less of an option these days. I have friends who met at bars in the ‘70s and still are happily married, so sometimes bar meet-ups do work out.)
That pretty much leaves work and church for meeting others who are possible dating material. (I met ex at work, and current husband at church.)
Two hard years of Covid didn’t help when it comes to developing and maintaining social skills. (Thanks, Fauci.)
Perhaps the old style bars or pubs - newer bars are so loud, one can barely hear oneself think, leave alone talk to other people.
I wouldn’t use an algorithm to pick my nose, so why would I use it to pick my friends?
That’s true of restaurants now, too!
A new couple had been attending our church for a few weeks, so we invited them to lunch with us after a service. We couldn’t even have a conversation with them because it was so loud. Then we wondered where we could’ve taken them to not have that problem and it seems that most places are like that now.
Back when people read books, places like B&N, Books-a-Million, etc. were great places to meet, particularly if it had a coffee shop annex. The dog park is another place you're likely to meet people with at least one interest in common. In my youth, I will admit to spending entirely too much time in bars, but perhaps, for healthy people, bars are something meant to be outgrown.
“I will admit to spending entirely too much time in bars, but perhaps, for healthy people, bars are something meant to be outgrown.”
Yes; I agree. In the ‘70s and ‘80s I spent time Friday nights after work in what some call bars. But I don’t really drink and just went for the dancing. Probably they were more discos than bars. I dunno.
Definitely something to outgrow. I watch a lot of true crime and see adults spending hours in bars. Maybe there could be a connection between drinking and crime. Who knew?😊
There used to be a lot more “bars” at places where what was served was food like burgers and fries, etc., ice cream, milk shakes, malts, etc. for people to hang out. Even old pharmacies had those - not to mention diners and similar places.
Yes, too many are loud and have a tv screen within a few feet of your face in every direction.
“””””Perhaps the old style bars or pubs - newer bars are so loud, one can barely hear oneself think, leave alone talk to other people.”””””
Nothing changed, some bars are like that, some aren’t, and it has always been like that, each and every bar is different and unique.
The meat market places are generally fast and loud, music and dance oriented, they weren’t totally useless to me for picking up girls, but I couldn’t stand them and usually avoided them, although they were a good place to show up fresh, and sober, about an hour before they closed because the other guys who were sweaty and exhausted, and drunk, had spent a fortune priming the girls and the girls were more focusing more on the sale closers at that point.
If you aren’t a closer, then no goodies for you.
Who would have thought that cellular communications could end a civilization?
Kinda like the tower of Babel ... until God stepped in ...
People watch "celebrities" in fictional roles in movies and television because they believe they see themselves in it. They don't believe they see themselves in the mirror, and the algorithm will multiply the number of mirrors.
"We've matched you with people at the same income, education, weight, and looks as you."
(Throws and destroys smartphone)
I spent majority of my time alone for most of my life, I enjoyed it. No drama, no arguments, not blowing money...
>>adults aged 16 to 29
16 is an adult?
I’m older and would not do this, but if this is what Gen Z needs to break the ice, so be it. Let them use the app to pick friends. It will get rid of social anxiety. Of course, if they meet the “friend” and don’t like the person, then they won’t be friends and will move on to the next person. My generation had computer dating starting in the 1970s and 1980s. I never did it but some people did and swore that it worked.
“Yes, too many are loud and have a tv screen within a few feet of your face in every direction.”
Even fancy places are putting TVs everywhere. It drives my girlfriend crazy when we go out because I walk right out if there is a TV in a place. And I also wonder if restaurant owners have ever heard of sound absorbing panels. Places are so loud. And I’m near deaf in one ear and half deaf in the other and places are painfully loud. Fast food joints are more pleasant than fancy places now. They are quieter, don’t have TVs everywhere, and aren’t blasting music on a loudspeaker.
The best way I ever used to meet women... Forget all about that macho s##t and learn how to play guitar.
Chicks love a guy that plays music.
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