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8 Signs Your Car Might Have Been Radicalized
The Bee ^
| Jul 28, 2026
| The Bee
Posted on 07/29/2026 10:17:36 AM PDT by dayglored
There are a lot of voices out there. Do you know which ones your car is listening to? If you're not careful, your own vehicle may fall under the spell of a dangerous and radical ideology.
Here are some of the signs that your car may have been radicalized:
- The beard and turban are dead giveaways: This might be your first clue that something is wrong.
- The GPS navigation voice keeps shouting "Allahu Akbar!" instead of saying normal things like, "At the light, make a left": It almost certainly didn't come like that from the factory.
- The brakes seem to stop working whenever you're near a Pride parade: Something is definitely wrong.
- It parks itself facing Mecca five times a day: That's not how you left it earlier, right?
- It keeps raving about the Emily Wilson translation of The Odyssey being better than Fagles: Trust us, this is a telltale sign of radicalization.
- You found a Quran in the glove box: And you don't even own a Quran.
- It only makes left turns. Or it only makes right turns: Contrary to popular belief, a car can be radicalized to the left or the right.
- Every time you get in the car, it automatically starts playing Tucker Carlson's podcast: Stop what you're doing and get your car the help it needs right away.
Well, there you have it. If you see something, say something. What are other signs that your car has been radicalized?
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; islam; radicalized; satire; tuckercarlson
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Hondas, Subarus, and Priuses (Prii?) are especially vulnerable, but there are reports of radicalized Ford F150 pickups so beware!
1
posted on
07/29/2026 10:17:36 AM PDT
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
ROFL!!! Mine was running over Iranians. Then, it just started running over any muslims.
2
posted on
07/29/2026 10:21:48 AM PDT
by
MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
(Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
To: dayglored
The Dodge Viper has always been a radicalized car.
It wants to kill you.
Kill
3
posted on
07/29/2026 10:22:00 AM PDT
by
Responsibility2nd
(We've already won. Trump declared Victory. Why are we still there?)
To: dayglored
The car charges into demonstrations that support freeing of Israeli hostages or into congregants exiting a synogogue after services.
4
posted on
07/29/2026 11:23:29 AM PDT
by
RAldrich
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