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Posted on 06/15/2026 4:16:08 PM PDT by Twotone
U.S. - Leading scholars believe that the angel who saved Daniel in the lion's den used a red laser pointer to distract the vicious cats.
The hungry lions could not help but chase the uncatchable red dot, distracting them throughout the night until Daniel was freed.
"Though the angel could have used a flaming sword to terrify them, the laser pointer was much more entertaining," explained Bible scholar Jonas Marks. "No kitty can resist the allure of the red laser dot, not even a vicious lion. It was both humane and delightful."
The angel reportedly also brought an oversized ball of yarn and a fishing pole with a rubber mouse on the string. "The fishing pole is so classic. Daniel got to just sit back and watch the show," explained Marks. "When King Nebuchadnezzar checked in the morning, he found Daniel guffawing as he took a turn reeling away the fake mouse."
At publishing time, scholars had also announced that angels had lured the "big fish" toward Jonah with a Heddon Torpedo top water lure.
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Cats go crazy when you point one around.
King Who?
So King Darius signed the prohibition into law. Daniel 6:10.
They need to fire that Jonas dude. :)
I know what cats do, exposed to a red laser, but....BIG cats, i don’t know. The idea of a red laser back in the days of Daniel might raise a few questions too.
Imagine a big cat weighing several hundred pound 4’ tall at the shoulder with 3” canines chasing a laser pointer. That is a beautiful visual. Paws the size of dinner plates slapping down on the red dot and the look of where the hell did that go? The Bee is the Knees. Thanks for the post.
I know what cats do, exposed to a red laser, but....BIG cats, i don’t know. The idea of a red laser back in the days of Daniel might raise a few questions too.
Our cat Abigail used to love the laser. I think she was showing off. She would nag my wife every evening to bring it out. She was a comedian. Always making us laugh. We miss her terribly.
Agree. Our cats would go spastic climbing all over each other and climbing the walls chasing that dot.
There is a video out there of a mountain lion that jumped onto the hood of a truck . The owner managed to lure it off with the red dot.
Some comedian said:
“If somebody breaks into my house, I’ll just shine the laser pointer
on his body and let my cats do the rest!”
One of our cats is scared of the red dot. The other cats will be chasing it all over, and he’ll go hide downstairs.
Had to think about that one...
Go online and see what big cats do with catnip and boxes. It’s hilarious.
CC
If house cats weighed a100 pounds humans would be in trouble. I somehow doubt the angels with Daniel used a laser pointer. Yet with God all things are possible. 🙏
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