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Uh Oh: Trump Nominates Unknown Spanish Economist Ronaldo Paulino As Fed Chair
Babylon Bee ^ | January 30, 2026 | Staff

Posted on 01/31/2026 3:38:18 PM PST by Twotone

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise choice to succeed Jerome Powell when his term expired in the spring, President Donald Trump nominated an unknown Spanish economist named Ronaldo Paulino as chairman of the Federal Reserve.

According to administration insiders, Trump made the choice after a brief meeting with Paulino at the White House, from which he came away impressed with Paulino's knowledge of the Fed's history and ideas for its future.

"He knew a lot about the Fed for being a foreigner," Trump later told reporters after announcing the nomination. "He's also got a very nice mustache, I must say. Very nice. Not enough nice mustaches in the world these days, have you noticed that? A lot of mustaches, but not many good ones. That's a shame. But he's got a good one. And he's got big plans for the Federal Reserve, believe me."

Paulino spoke briefly with the media, but seemed to be a man of few Spanish words. "Um… Acabar con la Reserva Federal," he said. "The Fed es… eh… muy, muy malo, comprende?" Witnesses said it then seemed Paulino's mustache began to fall off on one side, prompting him to quickly scurry away from the press conference.

A White House statement later confirmed that the president understood little of what Paulino had said but wanted to nominate someone with a Spanish name to make up for recent scandals stemming from his immigration policies.

At publishing time, Senator Rand Paul had announced a full investigation into Ronaldo Paulino's qualifications because he seemed strangely familiar.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; europeaneconomist; humor; ronpaul

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If only...
1 posted on 01/31/2026 3:38:18 PM PST by Twotone
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To: Twotone

I’d settle for G. Edward Griffin too.


2 posted on 01/31/2026 4:09:01 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children)
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To: Twotone

Actually Kevin Warsh is a good pick, for he is a Hawk for the U.S. Dollar.


3 posted on 01/31/2026 4:40:24 PM PST by Robert DeLong
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To: Twotone

hee hee... Ron Paul


4 posted on 01/31/2026 4:43:05 PM PST by Mr. K (no i think 10%consequence of repealing obamacare is worse than obamacare itself.)
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5 posted on 01/31/2026 5:08:06 PM PST by Who is John Galt? ("...mit Pulver und Blei, Die Gedanken sind frei!")
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To: Twotone
but wanted to nominate someone with a Spanish name

Apparently, his first choice Marco Rubio just curled up in fetal position and whimpered "¡No mas! ¡No mas!"

6 posted on 01/31/2026 5:15:52 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Pam Bondi is the George McClellan of attorneys general.)
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To: Twotone

I’m ashamed it took me more then 40 seconds to get it.


7 posted on 01/31/2026 5:20:17 PM PST by CaptainK ("No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up” )
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To: Twotone

Yep


8 posted on 01/31/2026 5:27:14 PM PST by cowboyusa (YESHUA IS KING OF AMERICA AND HE WILLL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE HIM!)
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To: CaptainK

Yeah, I didn’t figure it out that it was the Bee until I got to the mustache part.


9 posted on 01/31/2026 6:41:01 PM PST by circlecity
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To: Twotone

Another great article from the BEE...well done...


10 posted on 01/31/2026 8:25:57 PM PST by DeplorableTrumpSupporter (FKA ConservaTeen)
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