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Posted on 12/11/2025 10:26:57 AM PST by V_TWIN
Babylon Bee Join Toggle navigation menu Banner Ad Jasmine Crockett Hits Campaign Trail To Axe For Votes Politics · Dec 11, 2025 · BabylonBee.com Maxim Elramsisy via shutterstock.com Image for article: Jasmine Crockett Hits Campaign Trail To Axe For Votes Banner Ad HOUSTON, TX — Representative Jasmine Crockett has officially launched her Senate bid, immediately hitting the campaign trail to "axe for votes."
Touting her new campaign slogan "Uh-Uh, No You Di-Uhnt", Crockett hopes to unseat Senator John Cornyn in the 2026 midterm elections.
"I ain't playin' baby girl, I runnin', which is why I be acksing you fo yo votes," said the Rhodes graduate. "We out here talkin' 'bout showin' up, makin' noise, and actually usin' that ballot like it matter — 'cause it do. Every time we dip out on election day, somebody else makin' choices for us, and that ain't the move."
According to sources, Texans are reportedly close to understanding one or two of the words Ms. Crockett said in her launch speech. "Are there subtitles?" asked local man Roger Dowell, attempting to watch the speech. "Closed caption isn't working at all. Poor girl, usually they have a translator up there when they don't speak English. I don't know what the heck is happening here."
Crockett responded by condemning Dowell for inexcusable bigotry. "Dat cracka be RAYcist," said Crockett.
At publishing time, the Crockett campaign had stated that all previous videos of the candidate not using ghetto slang were AI deepfakes.
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tee hee.
This meathead is a horrible example for young black kids that have the misfortune of hearing her speak.
Ha-ha! LOve the Ebonics fluency.
That’s the dialect Ms Crockett chooses to ‘emote’ in, when speaking to her ‘peeps’.
She does her best generic “AngryBlackWoman” imitation of public figures like
Cardi-B or Megyn THEE Stallion.
Whoever calls her out as a shabby fake is quickly labled as “Racist &/or Misogynist”
Axe? She is a Viking now?
Ghetto Beto
She could win the seat. Voters in Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, and El Paso will vote for any Democrat placed on a ballot. How long can Lubbock, Tyler, and Amarillo hold back the “blue wave”?
Very good!
Texas voters seem not to care much how stupid and useless the elected politicians are.
That is how we got Cornyn. He is useless.
Cornyn country club Boomer, does nothing.
This Racist Crockett will mop up with him.
Where is the statesmanship and talent in Texas?
No, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett is not a Rhodes Scholar, but she did graduate from Rhodes College, a liberal arts school in Tennessee, which is where the confusion likely comes from; she earned her B.A. in Business Administration from Rhodes College and her J.D. from the University of Houston Law Center.
Here’s a breakdown of her education:
Undergraduate: Rhodes College (B.A.)
Law School: University of Houston Law Center (J.D.)
bwahaha!
Whatever the result is the “campaign” Mzz Jazzy Crockfull will rake in enough $$$$ to be the proud member of the Buy Large Mansions brigade.
Complete with arm gyrations and finger wagging. I'm trying to imagine a single black or Hispanic dude that would vote for this loudmouth dingbat.
She does now.
I hope the future of US politics is not loud-mouthed social “influencers.”
I used to work with a black woman, nice lady actually. Then one strange day after me knowing her for about a year, she just starting says “Ax” instead of “ask”.
Trust me when I say, I talked to her PLENTY before this time, enough for me to hear her say “ask” properly probably 100 times before this.
Then after that...she continued to use “ax” until she left.
Strange. And every time she said it was so cringy since it was contrived and fake.
Dis rayciss yo
She’s obviously going for the retard vote, but unfortunately for her, there are very few Somalis in Texas.
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