The Frozen Dessert Scam: ‘Ice Cream’ Isn’t Actually Ice Cream Anymore

Cypher News ^ | December 01,2025 | Grant Mercer

[Elsie]

 

Poland Spring water is legally labeled as “100% Natural Spring Water” because it meets FDA standards for spring water: it must come from a natural spring and retain its original composition.

🧊 What Makes It “Spring Water” Legally

According to the FDA’s Code of Federal Regulations (21 CFR §165.110), bottled water labeled as “spring water” must:

• Be derived from an underground formation from which water flows naturally to the surface

• Be collected only at the spring or through a borehole tapping the underground source

• Maintain the same composition and quality as the spring itself — no alteration beyond safe treatment

Poland Spring sources its water from multiple springs in Maine and surrounding areas, and it complies with these standards.

🧪 Ingredient & Composition Snapshot

From Poland Spring’s 2024 Water Quality Report:

• No added ingredients — it’s just water

• Mineral content (varies slightly by source):

  • Calcium: 4.6–11 mg/L

  • Magnesium: 0.91–1.9 mg/L

  • Potassium: up to 1 mg/L

  • Fluoride: ND–0.21 mg/L (ND = not detected)

  • pH range: 5.1–7.6

• No detectable levels of lead, arsenic, mercury, or other harmful contaminants

🧠 Why It’s Not “Purified Water”

• Purified water is typically processed via distillation, reverse osmosis, or deionization

• Poland Spring is not purified — it’s filtered and ozonated for safety, but retains its natural mineral profile

🧩 Labeling Controversies

• In past lawsuits, critics argued that Poland Spring’s sources weren’t true springs.

• However, the company has maintained compliance with FDA definitions and continues to label its product as “spring water” legally

[Elsie]

HEY!

[Elsie]

 

1977 was a pivotal year in the regulatory history of ice cream. That’s when the FDA formally updated the Standard of Identity for ice cream, tightening the definition and effectively phasing out the old “ice milk” category.

🧊 What Changed in 1977

Before 1977:

• Products with less than 10% milkfat were labeled as “ice milk”

• Ice milk was a popular lower-fat alternative, often cheaper and lighter

After 1977:

• The FDA revised the Standard of Identity for ice cream under 21 CFR §135.110

• Minimum milkfat set at 10% for anything labeled “ice cream”

• Products with less than 10% milkfat could no longer be called “ice milk”

• Instead, they had to adopt new labels like “frozen dairy dessert”, “reduced-fat ice cream”, or “low-fat ice cream”

🧠 Why It Mattered

• Marketing shift: “Ice milk” sounded inferior, so brands embraced “frozen dessert” as a more appealing label

• Recipe reformulation: Many companies adjusted ingredients to meet or dodge the new standards

• Consumer confusion: The term “ice cream” became more exclusive, while freezer aisles filled with euphemistic alternatives

🧩 Forensic Remix Potential

This is prime material for a timeline reference sheet:

• 1950s–1976: “Ice milk” vs. “ice cream” side-by-side

• 1977: Regulatory shift — new thresholds, new labels

• 1980s–2020s: Rise of “frozen dairy dessert,” “light ice cream,” and “non-dairy frozen treats”

[Elsie]

Wooo!

18%

[Elsie]

But, like a Chesire grin, the image of this fat trans still lingers...

[Elsie]

No chocolate for me...

Ah - you know about it too!

[Elsie]

Breyers frozen dairy dessert at DuckDuckGo

 

 

And SOME are, evidently, REal ICE CREAM (iT DOES SAY SO ON THE LABEL)

Breyers ice cream at DuckDuckGo

[Elsie]

BINGO

[Elsie]

Well, meat has WATER injected into it.

[RckyRaCoCo]

Stroh's Butter Pecan Ice Cream was the bomb.

Now it's frozen low-fat milk...absolute gah-bage.

[Elsie]

Try finding a tool with a power cord on it.

Or one that runs on gasoline.

[Elsie]

Your ‘options’ may not be the ONLY things expanding!

[Omnivore-Dan]

I love to experiment with different foods & desserts. Since I make my own vanilla extract with vanilla beans and rum, I’m going to give this a try and make some kick ass vanilla ice cream (hopefully).

[MayflowerMadam]

Growing up in western NYS, we got Sealtest ice cream, and it was delicious. (IIRC, it won top honor in ice cream contests.) I checked, and it’s not sold in the US any more — only Canada. It was taken over by Unilever, so most likely the quality has degraded.