Posted on 11/18/2025 10:14:44 AM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/teenager-struggling-to-stay-awake-after-only-getting-14-hours-of-sleep
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Sources say local teenager Ben Jackson was really struggling to stay awake the day after only getting 14 hours of sleep.
In a tragic turn of events, Jackson first went to bed at 8:45 p.m. and then was cruelly awakened at the crack of dawn around 10:45 a.m. by his younger sister, leaving him burdened with an almost insurmountable sleep deficit for the rest of the day.
"Mmmhhghtired," Jackson told reporters, fighting to keep his eyelids open. "Wanna go back asleep. Just five more mmingh. Ugh."
Sources close to Jackson say that the lack of sleep was such a handicap that all he could do was drink three gallons of milk and sit on the couch, and text his friends for most of the day.
"Poor kid's been out for the count all day," said Ben's mother, Sheila Jackson. "Maybe he'll get the magic 15 hours tonight and be able to function at a basic human level tomorrow. Like, it would be great if he'd shower at some point."
At publishing time, Ben had revived enough to eat a quadruple helping of dinner and forget to clear his dishes.
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Plot twist: Ben’s a cat.
Teenager was on cellphone 10 of those 14 hours and finally slept but didn’t admit to using a cellphone for that long.
My son was like this whenever his height shot up. He’d put himself to bed after dinner and sleep till breakfast.
One of the beauties of homeschooling is letting the teens sleep until they again become human.
Lol, my teen😄 At least I was assured they were not going to stay out till all hours .
I still remember when Fairfax changed the school and bus times so the high school students didn’t have to get up early. Their little brothers and sisters did. Their parents did. Heck their grandparents did. But they got to sleep in.
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