I’m 63, single, child-free – and my friends weren’t there for me when I needed them

www.msn.com ^ | August 6, 2025 | Kate Mulvey

[Jonty30]

Several weeks ago, I had a serious health scare. The emergency appointment and ultrasound were attended alone. I did a ring-around of my friends and sisters, but they were away or otherwise occupied. All I wanted was someone to hold my hand and give me a bit of moral support, but on a sweltering hot day, I sat alone in the hospital waiting room – a solitary figure among a sea of cosy couples, with only my Kindle for company as I bounced off the walls with anxiety. While the scare turned out to be just that, the stark realisation that my friends weren’t really there for me when it counted, and that I was utterly alone, was an unpleasant wake-up call. As a childless, unmarried woman of 63, it is difficult to admit how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats. Read Next: I tried eight types of coffee bean – a supermarket brand was the clear winner Without the silent contract between parent and child, Someone we look after and who can take care of us, the loneliness wears more and more heavily on me. I find it devastating to imagine ending my days isolated or worse, going gaga and incontinent in a care home. Like many women, I had always expected to get married, have children and maybe even a house in the countryside. It never happened, but not by design – I left it too late. Looking back, in my twenties and thirties, I was about as ready for the chains of matrimony as I was for joining the Women’s Institute. I didn’t want my life mapped out for me.

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Health/Medicine; Society
KEYWORDS: alone; childless; eatenbycats; unmarried

[Jonty30]

It's unfortunate that there are people who are unable to form bonds and become a family, they will be most unfortunate when they get hold.

However, if you chose to do that, you've chosen to be alone when you are old and vulnerable to everything that can happen to you.

[Z28.310]

Sometimes family members are evil and relationships simply are not possible. This is not a choice.

[Sequoyah101]

Eventually only one is left.

[stanne]

Friends? At 63? That’s not their role

You don’t want to get married have kids better plan better

[MachIV]

I will in time likely be alone as well as I have little family and no siblings. Church family will be about it.

[Deaf Smith]

How did her mood go from getting eaten by cats to eating coffee beans?

[tcox4575]

The picture says a lot. Very high end lifestyle. Now she is seeing the cost. And this is just the beginning.

[cgbg]

Here is too much information about her life:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/vowed-date-younger-men/

[fruser1]

imagine ending my days

If the end is in a facility, you will effectively be euthanized. Your friends won't want to deal with it and extended family members are most concerned with their immediate family members.

I've seen plenty of ending scenarios. Sudden death is best. If you can afford it, avoid facilities like the plaque and have the appropriate nursing at home (your home would be best, but the elder's would be sufficient).

[Repealthe17thAmendment]

chains of matrimony?

[InkStone]

There are MANY churches, Godly Bible believing churches (like mine) that have supportive groups which create REAL friendships. I’ve personally seen these groups help each other; the women in those groups are accepting of new people, and stand with them in their times of need.

[BFW]

The fruits of Feminism has become ready for harvest and a bleak and sack cloth covered harvest it is.

[Repeal The 17th]

Yeah...
I drink Kroger coffee.

[cgbg]

In case anyone is tempted to feel sorry for her:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/wont-have-vaccine-no-friend-mine/

[MortMan]

She chose poorly. One weaves their support basket in family first, then friends.

[Equine1952]

Who gets the blame for this? Encumbered is UN remembered. Live in a void die in a void. A person makes choices, suck it up and live with it. After all it was your choice. IMO

[alternatives?]

Did she ever go and help someone else out in the same or similar situation?

[z3n]

“...how terrified I am of ending up alone and being eaten by cats.”

This says MSN but must be the Bee

[vladimir998]

“Looking back, in my twenties and thirties, I was about as ready for the chains of matrimony as I was for joining the Women’s Institute. I didn’t want my life mapped out for me.”

And yet she says she is not alone by design. Yes, you are alone by design.

[Hot Tabasco]

You're assuming they have a choice. There are many elderly singles here on this site, myself included, who would probably lie dead in our homes for several months before any family members think to call on them despite whatever acquaintances in their circle of distant friends.