Posted on 06/21/2025 9:38:39 AM PDT by dayglored
GREEN BAY, WI — In preparation for an early work day, local man David Miles drank a cup of coffee so that, in addition to feeling tired, he could also be irritable.
"The caffeine really helps," Miles said as he prepared for a busy day at the office. "Now, I don't just feel tired, but also jittery and easily frustrated by everything all day."
Miles, who works at a major insurance firm in the area, has been described by his managers as a loyal employee who frequently shows up to work on time despite being tired and irritable.
"About midday, he starts to get a lot more mellow, so we always make sure there's a fresh pot of coffee brewing in the break room to keep him going," said Director of Marketing Andrew McCrest. "It gives him that extra boost from just being draggy to instead being draggy and having a short fuse."
According to a new study, coffee drinkers actually live longer, though their longer lives are filled with agitation and a heightened sense of annoyance. "The caffeine in a cup of coffee sharpens the senses," said Dr. Julio Valencia. "This improved mental acuity allows the drinker to become irritated and perturbed at a much faster rate while still remaining somewhat tired."
At publishing time, the ensuing caffeine crash had left David Miles feeling sleepy at the end of his work day, leading him to pour a cup of tea so he could feel sleepy and depressed the rest of the evening.
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Thank you very much and God bless you.
It's the truth. Y'all know it.
(Finishing off my first quad-shot espresso+water*, while preparing a second one.)
*a.k.a. "Americano"
Totally exhausted, but could not get to sleep. Mind racing.
Could not stop thinking about what I was working on - and what I read last week/month, recipes for lasagna, trying to remember the name of that mechanic
who botched a repair job on my car, whether to plant the tomatoes or peppers first
in the garden and WHEN, and if I took out the trash, and, and, and…
The Hell State.
So my advice is to NEVER take melatonin on top of the belly full of coffee. Trust me on that.
‘Joe’s drunk, let’s get some black coffee in him!’
Now Joe is a wide-awake belligerent drunk.
The same goes for an insufficient number of shots of 80 proof.
The Bee made my day!!
“Caffeine” on Audible by Michael Pollan was an interesting listen.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java the thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking,
The shaking becomes a warning.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
Why is this not in breaking news?
Good maybe offer free coffee and donuts to the police to get them amped up just before riot duty.
Michael Pollan is no conservative, but is a good writer and does fine in his specialty.
Me. On night shift. Dang near every time.
What is it with these kids and their “energy drinks” like Red bull, Monster and rock star?
Hey man, when I was a lad we ran on.pure adrenaline, moxie and fear.
Kids today, I swear (grumble mumble wheezing sighing belch & fart at same time oopsie made a boomboom)
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