Posted on 06/10/2025 12:20:40 PM PDT by Red Badger
If you think your pool floats are safe in your backyard this summer, think again. I don’t know what the odds are that they'll be stolen by a guy who wants to have sex with them, but there is a chance of that taking place.
That's especially true if you live in Florida near 41-year-old Christopher Monnin, who has had several pool-float theft-related incidents over the years. His last arrest was in 2019 when he was found storing about 75 pool floats in a vacant house. He pleaded guilty this week on the eve of his criminal trial that was scheduled to start on Monday.
Christopher Monnin mugshot. (Credit: Palm Bay Police Department)
The collection of the pool floats had been months in the making. According to a police report of the 2019 incident, "In the past 7 months, the city of Palm Bay has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen or otherwise enters a victim's back pool deck area and steals only pool floats."
Who needs 75 pool floats? This Florida man evidently. Monnin admitted using them to sexually gratify himself. He was facing the possibility of prison time before pleading guilty to theft and burglary charges.
A judge handed down a two-year "community control" sentence, according to The Smoking Gun. It's an intensive form of probation that is comparable to house arrest. After that he'll be placed on eight more years of standard probation.
The Florida man has a history of getting busted with other peoples' pool floats Monnin, who spent eight months in county jail before he was released on bond, was also fined $840. The 2019 arrest took place after a Palm Bay officer spotted him riding a bike at 1:30 am while carrying a "white garbage bag full of what he identified as deflated pool floats."
There were several reports of stolen pool floats in the Palm Bay area at the time, and he became the prime suspect. Monnin reportedly admitted to swiping the floats and showed officers the vacant house across the street from his own residence where he stored them.
They found about 75 pool floats of varying shapes and sizes. He wasn’t picky. He reportedly told the police he "sexually gratifies himself with the floats and does this instead of raping women."
The 2019 arrest wasn’t his first time being busted for the theft of pool floats. Monnin has prior convictions of burglary, theft, loitering and prowling, and violating probation, according to The Smoking Gun.
His prior burglary convictions, in 2007 and 2008, also involved stealing pool floats. He was found in 2017 loitering and prowling with an inflatable raft in the basket of his bike.
Wow. That's quite the career of pool floats-related crime. Best of luck to him, and hopefully he's able to start purchasing his own pool floats.
Nice to see Florida Man isn’t losing his touch.
Wow does he look nuts! Pardon the pun
Please, no videos, just no videos
He will be forever known as that guy who schtupped all those pool floats.
im not sure i know what a pool float is,
but just because he’s old doesn’t mean he’s not looking for a little fun?
That boy got issues
The first thing I thought of was Elvira.
No need to blow her up; she floats right out of the box.
We simply do not treat mental illness anymore. Our policy is to just let all the mentally ill do what they want regardless if it endangers anyone or anything or themselves. It’s like living with one flew over the cuckoos nest patients out on the street.
The inflatable sharks, dolphins, sea horses, etc, that are used as floating toys in a pool. Substitutions for inflatable sex dolls.
Indeed. Hopefully prison time will help him in a big way.
AH SO!
THANKS
THAT SEA HORSE SOUNDS LIKE FUN?
Yep.
He’s seeking Mika Brzezinski look-alikes.
Odds are he will be arrested again. Once a man goes air, he’ll never go fair er, back.
The only solution is for him to run for office in California.
What does a pool float look like? Male or female genitals?
I looked at AMZ and they just look like floating mattresses.
This degenerate could just have sex with his own mattress.
Looks like they gave him probation.......what he really needs is a psych eval.
On the other hand, “He reportedly told police that he does this instead of raping women.”
Although I will of course grant the weird novelty of his case, while we’re mocking him relentlessly, maybe shouldn’t cast the first stone at someone who apparently at least tried to restrain himself.
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