A Handy "News" Media Template In Case Harris Cheats Her Way Into Office

Original Content | 11/05/2024 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

I like to think of myself as helpful. In fact, if I was a Superhero in the Marvel Comic Universe, I would be Mister Helper Man.

So, in an effort to assist the so-called "news" media, I've generated them a template they can copy and paste into their "news" articles, should Harris manage to steal her way into office. As we produce proof of a steal, you can simply write:

These controversial claims of voter fraud are baseless rumors. They are unfounded, and unsubstantiated. This is sweeping and systemic disinformation. These sort of spurious accusations defy the reality on the ground. These claims have been debunked, refuted, and completely put to rest. No credible evidence exists to support these shaky assertions, and numerous fact-checkers have marked these allegations as FALSE. Based on the reports of these fact-checkers alone, there is no further need to investigate these outlandish claims. They have been thoroughly discredited and contradicted. Continuing to push these far-fetched conspiracies, in the form of Russian lies, is sedition.

You're welcome.

[Lazamataz]

I am Mister Helper Man

[Lazamataz]

A little humor to take the edge off the stressful day.

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[DoodleBob]

I think this is more appropriate - MISINFORMATION MAN.

[Lazamataz]

Nah. I am definitely Mister Helper Man.

[usconservative]

That’s the same media template from 2020!!

[Lazamataz]

Besides, the photos of Mister Helper Man will bag me many more babes than the photo of Misinformation Man.

[DoodleBob]

You left off “Trump is a meanie and MAGA Republicans are big fat meanies. P’Nut was a greater risk to society than the dozen Biden dogs that bit the Secret Service. Get your Covid booster.”

[MV=PY]

LOL! Nicely done.

[Lazamataz]

That’s the same media template from 2020!!

Not precisely. These buzz phrases were spread all over the internet; I have assembled them into one handy payload.

I am MISTER HELPER MAN!

[DoodleBob]

I dunno….The AI generator made Mister Helper Man look a lot like Pajama Boy.

[Lazamataz]

I dunno….The AI generator made Mister Helper Man look a lot like Pajama Boy.

Ask any babe you like, they will tell you this: "I'd hit it."

[4Runner]

Some people should not be allowed to vote. Some people should not be allowed to own pit bulls. And some people on FR should not be allowed to be anywhere near ping lists. You’re welcome.

[Leaning Right]

Democrats and the media would follow your script without hesitation.

That’s not the sad part. The sad part is that the GOP elite would too.
😠

[Lazamataz]

And some people on FR should not be allowed to be anywhere near ping lists.

Four hundred and fifty-five people (and counting) strongly disagree.

[Tell It Right]

FReeper Laz is the new Rush: show prep for rest of the media! lol

[Texaspeptoman]

Laughter is a great way to start this morning!
Mucho grass

[Lazamataz]

Glad you enjoyed!

[batazoid]

The one I know will appear more than once: “Yes, there were some irregularities, but it wasn’t enough to affect the final election results.”

[SharpRightTurn]

A very nicely done template, though I am a little disappointed you didn’t work in one of their favorite catchphrases: “without evidence.”

[V_TWIN]

I’ll tell ya one thing....while spinning around my television dial this morning, Fox is upbeat, interviewing people at diners and having a generally good time...then flipped over to pmsnbc and it it’s a 6 person panel all frowns and somber like a funeral......little Joe is still harping an the “convicted felon” BS.

I’m thinking they know something we don’t.....and it’s not good for kamalalaladingdong.