Loner stabbed himself to death trying to separate two frozen burgers with a knife

The New York Post ^ | September 18, 2024 | Emily Crane

[T.B. Yoits]

Buried in the story: "Griffiths — who had limited use of one arm following a stroke".

While a stroke can happen at 57 or younger, there's an awful lot of stroke victims around since the Jim Jones Jab was foisted on the public.

[Prince of Space]

I’m super clumsy & klutzy, so it’s something I can see myself doing, lol.

[Tymesup]

A smart guy told us he got a great deal on tomatoes. A few days later, somebody heard a loud sound coming from his dorm room, and opened the door. Tomato Man had made a large batch of tomato sauce, and frozen most of it into one huge chunk.

He decided using a chain saw was the best option. Not sure that was going to enhance the flavor.

Today, we’d all wonder why he had a chain saw.

One of the two smartest guys I’ve ever known bought a knife. He had to see how sharp it was. Could it split a hair? He found out it would cut his finger pretty well.

[madison10]

No

[philman_36]

Couldn’t get a diet coke bottle open.

Try a door next time.
Open door. On hinge side of door insert container between door and jamb.
Close door to tighten on lid and twist.

[telescope115]

I use a butter knife, and try to insert the knife with the tip AWAY from me.

[Omnivore-Dan]

The burger to die for.

[RummyChick]

Or they could have Eagle Syndrome and have idiot Doctors who can’t diagnose it and don’t know it can compress your jugular and carotid artery.

Who knew that having two sticks in your neck that shouldn’t be there could end up messing you up.

No one who has been through an anatomy class should be surprised.

[know.your.why]

Brother in law did that separating frozen hotdogs. Went to the er with a steak knife through his hand. Has nerve damage to this day.

[telescope115]

When I was 14, I was tried to carve a piece of wood with a box cutter by pulling the knife thru the wood towards me. It came out of the wood so fast I stuck the the cutter into the back of my hand behind my thumb, severing a blood vessel. It took 3 stitches to close. To this day (56 years later) the inside of my thumb is still a little numb. I must’ve severed a verve as well. It hasn’t caused me any problems, just a little numbness.

But I ain’t NEVER stabbed myself in the stomach!

[RummyChick]

Btw, if you are from Detroit area lead singer for group I Prevail has Eagle Syndrome. What he went through nearly broke him.

No doubt much medical gaslighting

[telescope115]

Words of the wise…

[Larry Lucido]

If he had used a 12 gauge this whole thing could have been a nothing Burger.

[telescope115]

So when I go to the pharmacy and take the rubbers to the checkout I should tell them I’m using them to open Coke bottles?

[telescope115]

I’ve done it a million times but I use a butter knife. 😉

Me too.

[telescope115]

CORRECTION: nerve-not verve…🙄

[Chode]

i thought they outlawed pointy knives in the UK...

[RummyChick]

I laughed out loud . It was suppose to say rubber band

[gundog]

[gundog]

“Clean as a whistle.”

”You could eat off that shotgun.”