Posted on 12/10/2022 7:57:56 PM PST by grundle
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to negative backlash over a poorly negotiated prison exchange with Russia, President Biden has begun reading The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump.
"I vow to do better," Biden told the family of Paul Whelan, a former U.S. Marine who is still stuck in a Russian prison. "That's why I picked up this great book from the library."
"I mean look at this guy. He looks like he makes deals every day!" said Biden, holding the book up proudly. "I promise you I'm going to be just like him. A real go-getter!"
Whelan's family initially expressed disappointment when American authorities first traded notorious Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout, also known as "The Merchant of Death," for WNBA athlete Brittney Griner, but are now hopeful that a deal can be made. "If anyone can bring Paul home it's Donald Trump," said Paul's twin brother David.
Biden has committed to finishing the book before reopening negotiations with the Russian government, say officials close to the president. The president is reportedly staying up as late as 6 PM to squeeze in some reading time.
"I'm going to be the master of the art of the deal, Jack!" Biden told CBS' Margaret Brennan. "No one will want to play Monopoly with me after I'm done with this book! Not a joke."
According to sources, Biden has been honing his new skills by trading Pokémon cards with kids outside the White House. "I traded a Flareon holo card for three Magikarps," Biden confirmed. "I'm doing it! I'm making deals!"
At publishing time, Biden was hopeful that Putin would accept some Pokémon cards in exchange for Paul Whelan.
Lol!
Nice gouge.
As long as the text was written at the Second Grade Level.
I know it’s satire, but...
I’m pretty sure that Biden and democrats feel they got a big win from the trade.
A lesbian basketball player for the ‘agent of death’. To democrats and Biden, they felt they needed to show one of their most important constituencies that, they got their back, and democrats were in the business of locking up the LGBTQ+ community’s votes.
The Bee has been on fire lately. although admittedly the left makes it easy.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.