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She-Hulk Insists She's 'Fine' While Literally Turning Into Enormous Green Monster
The Babylon Bee ^
| August 25, 2022
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 08/26/2022 9:48:21 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
CHILENO BEACH, MEXICO — According to sources, fan-favorite superhero lawyer She-Hulk continued to insist to her husband today that she is "fine", while literally turning into a green rage monster.
"No really, I'm ok," said She-Hulk, as her skin changed color and veins burst out of her forehead. "It's just...never mind. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?" she continued, quadrupling in size from blind fury.
Despite her protestations, Mr. Walters couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. "After you've been together for a while, you get to know the little signs," he said. "When my sweet Jessica turns into a massive, green tornado of violence and rips the chimney out of our home - I know something is off."
After throwing her husband's car into the neighborhood pool, She-Hulk proceeded to smash all of the doors to their home, leaving Mr. Walter trapped inside. "This is sort of her version of the silent treatment," said Mr. Walter. "She usually pulls away enough rubble for me to get out in a few hours. Unless she calls and talks to her mom, in which case I might be here a few days. Better check how much beef jerky we have."
At publishing time, She-Hulk continued to insist she had perfect control of her emotions and that the Nissan in the pool was just something "you wouldn't understand."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; emotions; satire; shehulk; women
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Mr. Walters (in midst of wrecked home): Honey, what's wrong?
She-Hulk: Nothing . . .
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
It really would be convenient if women’s skin turned green everytime they were “fine.” Sort of a “Do Not Approach” signal.
2
posted on
08/26/2022 9:55:01 AM PDT
by
seowulf
(Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
3
posted on
08/26/2022 10:06:21 AM PDT
by
SmokingJoe
( )
To: SmokingJoe
The entire concept is asinine. It’s unfortunate that Tatiana Maslany got mixed up in the project.
4
posted on
08/26/2022 10:09:33 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
To: seowulf
5
posted on
08/26/2022 10:14:44 AM PDT
by
EvilCapitalist
(81 million votes my ass.)
To: BenLurkin
But she actually looks hot as a Hulk
6
posted on
08/26/2022 10:16:19 AM PDT
by
Mr. K
(No consequence of repealing obamacare is worse than obamacare itself)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
This has to be the stupidest premise for a TV show. Laughable! But what do I know. The first time I saw Barney on TV I said the same thing.
7
posted on
08/26/2022 10:25:19 AM PDT
by
4yearlurker
(Thou hast promised to be with us in tribulation.)
To: 4yearlurker
You're making fun of She-Hulk???
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Mr. She-Hulk needs to keep a when-to-go-fishing calendar...
9
posted on
08/26/2022 10:37:04 AM PDT
by
null and void
(they promise the jetsons but deliver the flintstones)
To: BenLurkin
Tatiana Maslany and Jodie Comer are my two favorite actresses. Tatiana was absolutely fabulous in “Orphan Black” and I first knew Jodie from the BBC series “Thirteen”.
To: null and void
Mr. She-Hulk needs to keep a when-to-go-fishing calendar... I wonder if there's a scene where she goes into the woods and gets attacked by a pack of bears (cause, you know). I'd watch that.
#MenKnow
#BagsterSplaining
11
posted on
08/26/2022 10:53:10 AM PDT
by
bagster
("Even bad men love their mamas".)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
12
posted on
08/26/2022 10:54:06 AM PDT
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I saw an trailer or something and it made me cringe
To: seowulf
A woman turning green wouldn’t stop Captain Kirk.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Marvel...how far they have deliberately fallen. snh
15
posted on
08/26/2022 11:08:15 AM PDT
by
citizen
(Thieves of private property pass their lives in chains; thieves of public prop. in riches and luxury)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
These superhero movies just keep getting worse and worse. Every on of them tries to outdo the wokeness of the last.
The girl is cute though.
16
posted on
08/26/2022 11:09:59 AM PDT
by
GaryCrow
To: kosciusko51
A woman turning green wouldn’t stop Captain Kirk. Well, he did go where no man has gone before.
17
posted on
08/26/2022 11:30:48 AM PDT
by
seowulf
(Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
To: Chode
Why didn’t they just cast Big Mike?
18
posted on
08/26/2022 11:33:59 AM PDT
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
To: grey_whiskers
19
posted on
08/26/2022 11:49:26 AM PDT
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: grey_whiskers
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